Rensselaer Republican, Volume 13, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 March 1881 — Greek Wit. [ARTICLE]

Greek Wit.

A truly didactic saying is attributed by JSlian to the Spartan magistrates. “When certain persons from Clazomense had come to Sparta and smeared with soot the seats on which the Spartan magistrates sat discharging Eublic duties; on discovering what ad been done and by whom, they expressed no indignation, but merely ordered a public proclamation to be made, ‘Let it be lawful for the people of Clazomense to make blackguards of themselves.’ ” A very large number of apothegms, proverbs, and sayings of more or less wit occur up and down the collected works of Plutaroh,although Schneidewin does not hesitate to attribute those to some impostor usurping his name. At any rate they are handily classified, and form a bulky addition to Mr. Paley’s translated specimens. Here is a brief and bright saying which this writer attaches to King Archelaus, when a talkative barber, trimming his beard, asking him, “How shall I cut it?” “In sflence,” replied the king. The anecdote recalls one of Charles ll.’s bragging barbers, who boasted to him he could cut his majesty’s throat when he would—a boast for which he was only dismissed; though for a like rash vaunt, according to Peter Cunningham, the barber of Dionysius was crucified. To return to Plutarch, he tells the following stories, both good in their way, of Philip of Maceaon. In passing sentence on two rogues he ordered one to leave Macedonia with all speed, and the other to try and oaten him. No less astute was his query as to a strong position he wished to occupy, which was reported by the scouts to be almost impregnable. “Is there not,” he asked, “even a pathway to it wide enough for an ass laden with gold?” Philip, too, according to Plutarch, is entitled to the fatherhood of an adage which retains its ancient fame about “calling a spade a spade.” Another sample of a witty saying from Plutarch’s mint is that attributed to Themistocles, that his son was the strongest man in Greece. “For,” said he, the Athenians rule the Hellenes. I rule the Athenians your jnother rules me, and you rule your "mother.” We must cite one or two other of the many examples from Plutarch. This Is attributed by him to Leotychidas. son of Arisot A snake having twined itself round a key, which was declared by the seers to be a portent, Leotychidas remarked, “It would have been more of a portent if the key had twined itself around the snake.” Others are connected with ornithology, like the apothegm of one who plucked the feathers from a nightingale, and finding it a very small bird, exclaimed, ‘‘You little wretch, you’re nothing but voice;” and again, the repartee of a Laconian to a man of Sparta, who twitted him with being unable to stand as long as himself on one leg. “No!” replied the other; “but my geose can.” “When Demades, the orator, remarked that the swords of the Spartans were so short that they could be swallowed by conjurors, Agis, the younger king of that name, replied, ‘We find them quite long enough to reach the enemy.’ ” An anecdote of Strabo gives a vivid picture of the clashing of a harper’s performances with the sounding of a bell for opening of the fish market. All the audience vanished at onoe save a little deaf man. The harper expressed himself lyiutterably flattered at his having resisted the importunity of the bell, ‘TWhat!” cried the deaf man, “has tne fish bell rung? Then I’m off, too Good-bye!”