Rensselaer Republican, Volume 13, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 March 1881 — A Virginia M.-C. [ARTICLE]

A Virginia M.-C.

Waahlaatoa BapabUeaa. Not long after the close of the rebellion Virginia sent two representatives to the lower house of congress, one of whom we will designate as Judge B. The Judge had slight backwoods tendencies and scorned the use of many conveniences deemed indispensable in polite society, and seemed especially adverse to the use of pocket handkerchiefs, preferring the thumb, finger, and back of his hand instead. His colleague, who occupied a seat close by, was the pink of propriety and neatness combined. Some even went so far as to declare him old maidish in many of his notions... One day, as he saw his bucolic brother going through with the customary maneuvers, a happy thought struck him, which he carried into efiect the next morning by placing upon the member’s desk a box containing a dozen fine, hem-stitched nose-wipes. When the judge came in he saw the package, addressed to himself, and proceeded to epen it with due deliberation. Taking out one of the nicely-folded “indispensables,” he first gazed at it curiously, then shook it - to the breeze as he bent over to his colleague with the whispered remark: handkerchiefs, ain’t they ?” “It seems so,” was the response. “Does congress furnish ’em?” he next inquired, “Better ask the sergeant-at-arms,” was the reply. “No, ’tain’t worth while,” remarked Judge U., as he gave his nose a tweak and drew underneath it the back of his hand which he wiped on the hip of hfe pantaloons; “’tain’t worth while. I never use the damn things nohow; I’ll jest frank ’em home te my wife.” And he did so then and there, leaving his accommodating friend out to the tune of several dollars, with no compensating satisfaction, and fairly raging at the manner in which his well-intended hint had been taken.