Rensselaer Republican, Volume 13, Number 4, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 October 1880 — Why an Old Texan Made His Will. [ARTICLE]

Why an Old Texan Made His Will.

One day last month when trade was dull, a grocer’s clerk procured a piece of sole leather from a shoemaker, painted it black and laid it aside for fiiture use. Within a few days an old chap from back in the country came in and inquired for a plug of chewing tobacco. The piece of sole leather was tied up, paid for, and the purchaser started for home. At the end of the sixth day he returned, looking downcast and dejected, and walking into the store he inquired for the clerk. “ ’Member that terbacker I got here the other day ?" “Yes, sir.” “Well, was that a new brand?” “Yes.” “Regular plug terbacker, was it?” “Yes.” “Well, then, it’s me.” It’s right here in my jaws,” sadly replied the did man. I knowed I was getting party old, bat I wa* alius handy at bitin’ plug. I never seed a ping afore this one that I couldn’t tear to pieces at chaw. I sot my teeth on this one, and bit and pulled and twisted like a dog at a root, and I’ve kept biting and polling for six days, mid there she am the same as the day you sold her to me.” “Seems to be a good plug,” remarked the clerk, as be smelt of the counterfeit “She’s all right; it’s me that's foiling,” remarked the oM man. “Pass me out some fine cut, and I’ll go home and deed the form to the boys, and get ready for the grave myself”

A conductor on the Madisob avenue line of hone-cars in New York naively explained to a reporter the code of morals in vogue in the street-railway companies of the metropolis. The conductor said the strikes on the Second and Third avenns lines would not amount to anything, and the new men could steal twice as much as the old ones, who would all he back in a month- “ They do ‘knock down,’ then in spite of the ibell-punch ?” said the reporter. “Of cofcrae they do,” replied the conductin', “and ft expected they will. On this line they expect it, only they tell us we must not get caught doing it. Do you know what are our hours? From 6in the morning until 10 at night, and oar pay is (L9O. They expect us all to take a few fores, and there is not a conductor on the line but so understands it. All pur bosses want is for us to makonp to a certain average, and we have to do it, Jt is po sin to *knock down’ on this line; the sin is in getting found oat” Half the logic of misgorernment lies in onesophistical dilemml If the people are turbulent, they are unfit for liberty; if they ffiffwnlfly they are unfit {or Jiierty.—