Rensselaer Republican, Volume 12, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 June 1880 — A Boy’s Composition on Girls. [ARTICLE]

A Boy’s Composition on Girls.

Girls are tho most unaccountable things in the world—except women. Like the wicked fleas, when you have them they aiw’t there. I can cipher clean over to improper fractions, ana the teacher says I do it first rate, but I can’t cipher out a girl, proper or improper, and you can’t either. The only rule in arithmetic that hits their case is the double rule of two. They are as full of the Old Nick as their skins can hold, and they’d die if they couldn’t torment somebody. When they try to be mean they are as mean as purseley, though they ain’t as mean as they let on to be, except sometimes, and then they are a great deal meaner. The only way to r et along with a girl when she comes with her nonsense is to give her tit for tat, and that will flummux; her when you get a girl flununuxed she is as nice as a new pie. A girl can sow more wild oats it a day than a boy can in a year, but girls get their wild oats sowed after a while which boys never dq, and then they se£ tie down as calm and placid as a mud puddle. But I like girls first rate, and guess all boys do. I don’t care how many tricks they play on me—and they don’t care either. The hoity-toitiest girl in the world can’t always boil over like a glass of soda watqr. By and by they will get into the traces with somebody they like, and pull as steady as jm old stage horse. That is the beauty of them. So let ’em wave, I say; they will pay for it some day, sewing on buttons, and trying to make a decent man of the fellow they have spliced onto; and ten chances to one if they don’t get the worst of it.