Rensselaer Republican, Volume 12, Number 37, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 June 1880 — FACTS AND FANCIES. [ARTICLE]

FACTS AND FANCIES.

110 marmd aifl iocop4 vHk cw l f . oflk6a Dy ine wjpenntodent if b«raplWd. % a iM to ntowottfaf •* U v A Mirairaippi judge was jo* Mjinf th*t ?o ope but e coward would oerry a pistol, when his own fell from his pocklawyerto ftfjfk wi th whkfc Jttrasrihooi 3 the corn doctor to aecnreT CMtemS in a printing office. “My deer Julia," said one pretty girl to another, “can yon make op yocmmnd to marry thatodiousMr.BnuffT—“Why, my dear Mary” replied Julia. “I believe l could take him afapinch!” • A little girl four yean old was recent* ly called as a witness in a police court, and, in answer to the nation as t 6 what beafine of little girls who told frlse* hoods, die innocently replied that they were sent to bed.” ■ “There has been a slight mistake committed here,” observed the house-sun geon; “sf no meat moment, though—it was the sound leg of Mr. Higgins which was cut off. We can easily cure the other—comes to the same thing,” “Mr. Tapenthred isn't in. I see,” said am »oid shopper to the clerk in attendance. “No, 'in, he’s at home to-day.” “I suppose he’s got nothing new.” “Yes. ’m, he has; he’s sot pneumonia.” “You don’t Say so) what are you getting a yard for monia now?" - A Jersey man was onoe thrown one hundred and fifty feet by.Ru express train, and when he picked himself up he looked around for his bat and remarked, “Well, if I don’t find that hat I'M make the company pey fer it.” ‘ f " - —When you see a woman balance herself on one foot, kick the other wildly out behind her, and skillfully swoop up hi her hand a fan tail train, don't be ‘alarmed. She isn’t going to have s' fit. She is about to cross a twelve-inch gutter. —A six-year-old who was fond of putting himself outside of various good things at a rapid rate, just after complaining of inward griping, explained to his wondering parent that he “didn’t mean to leave any room for that stomachache.” • r —“Be a good boy and don’t break your mother’s heart, for then you would be an orphan in an asylum where you would have to listen to a couple of sermons on Sunday, and two* or three during the week,” said his mother, and that boy has been good ever since. Plant tansy at the roots of your plum trees, or hang branches of the plant on the limbs of your trees, and you will not be annoyed with curculio. An old successful fruit grower urnishes the above, and savo it is the most successful curculio preventative he has ever tried. —Oh, how beautiful will be the day of the general resurrection! We shaft see beautiful souls come from heaven like suns of glory, and unite themselves to the bodies which they animated on earth. The more those bodies were mortified, the more .they will shine like diamonds.”-' —“There is nothing sweeter in the world,” wrote Father Lacodaire, “than to be forgotten, except by those who love us and whom we love. The rest hring us more trouble than joy; and when we have accomplished our task, dug our furrow, be it great or small, the happiest thing is to disappear.” | Hoick-Made Coubt Plaster. —The fol lowing recipe comes to ns well recommended : One ounce of French j one*,pint of warm water; stir till it di»aotyep; add ten cents’, worth of pure glycerine and five beats’ worth of tincture of arnica; lay a piece of white or black silk on a board and paint it over with the mixture. Harness Polish.— Take of mutton suet, two ounces; beeswax, six ounces; powdered sugar, six ounces; lampblack, one ounce; green or yellow soap, two ounces: and water one-half pink Dissolve the soap in the water, add thfc other solid ingredients, mix well, and add turpentine. Lay on with a sponge, and polish off with a brush. —ft will take a longtime to get the new silver dollar into circulation. It is estimated that the mints will be ahle to turn out about $3,000,000 per month. This will give three-quarters of a dollar to each inhabitant or the United States in a year. People needn’t be in a hurry to buy a mule to carry their Hnllai- of the daddies yet awhile. Prehistoric Minims. —The miners of Santa Rosa were running a tunnel into their mine at CoulterviUe, Cal., when they uncovered, sixty feet below the surface, a wooden maul and several wedges. The implements are white oak wood, aud in good state of preservation, showing the marks of sharp cutting instrument in their fashioning. Trees five feet in diameter are growing on the surface. —Women often fancy themselves to be in love when they are nok The love of being loved, fondness of flattery, the pleasure of giving pain to a rival, and a passion for novelty and excitement—are frequently mistaken for something tax better and holier, till marriage disenchants the fair self-deceiver, and leaves her astonished at her own indifference and the evaporation of her romantic fancies.

Try to keep your sympathies fresh and your interest in little things active. Remember that you were young once, and tolerate the crudities of youth. Do more than tolerate; try to understand, and do not be impatient if young eyes cannot see things just as you see them. Gray hairs and wrinkles you cannot escape, but you need not grow old unless you choose. And, so long as your age is only on the outside, you will win confidence from the young, and find yonr life all the brighter from contact with theirs. What a Mam?— This little life-boat of .earth, with its noisy crew of mankind and all their troubled history, will one day have vanished—faded like a cloudspeck from the azure of the sky. What then is man? He endures but for an hour, and is crushed before the moth. Yet in the beginning and in the working of a faithful man Is there already (as all faith from the beginning gives assurance) a something that pertains not unto this death element of time; that triumphs over time, and is, and will be, when time shall be no more. —A stout English gentleman, a visitor at a fashionable watering plaice on the west coast of Scotland, was in the habit 6f conversing familiarly with a character of the place who took a delight in talking boastingly of his great relations. One day, as the gentleman was sratod at the door cf his lodging, Donald came up driving a fat boor. ‘That is one of your great relations, I suppose, you have got with you, Donald 7” said the gentleman. “Nfc,” qnietly retortedTDonald, as he surveyed the proportions of his interlocutor, “no relation whatever, but jufct an acquaintance like yourself” n '»1« ; y, ONE TRIAL is sufficient to convince the mist skeptical of the invaluable and uafolltrig ifflc.cy of Madame Zadoe Patter'i Ovratiee Balaam for the cure of Odds, Uougba, Hoarseness, shortness of Breathing, As:hmv Difficulty of Breathing, ftuekmcEa Ticklipg in the Throat, etc! Has »V fitorty yea Vs. Bribe, 25, &ewafl nr per home. * .f * “