Rensselaer Republican, Volume 12, Number 33, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 April 1880 — The Customs and Regulations of Weddings. [ARTICLE]

The Customs and Regulations of Weddings.

Tim customs and ceremonies incident to weddings vary widely, according to creed, nationality and country. A few general regulations are found to exist, howerer, in all civilized communities, in reference to this most interesting subject. At the inception of couitahip no well-bred woman receives a man's attentions too eagerly, nor, if he please her, wi 1 she carry reserve to an extreme that may possibly discourage l.im. Her purpose should be to preserve her self-respect absolutely, and at the same time not repel his ad mi radon and friendship. Some men show ittention and assiduity up to a certain point without becoming lovers. It is equally possible for a lady to allow the would-be suitor to perceive that he is not disagreeable to Ser without actually encouraging him. No man likes to be refused, and no man of tact will hazard a refusal. The gentleman presents the lady with a ring as soon as they are engaged, and may at any time send her floral tributes. It is the privilege of the lady’s mother to fix the wedding-day. The trousseau should be in accordance with their means. It is neither wise nor in good taste for ladies of limited finances to provide themselves with showy outfits. The engagement is soon made known to kins people and intimate friends. Through them acquaintances are informed, and the proper felicitations are expressed in the usual manner. After the marriage invitations are issued, the bride to be.does not usually appear in public, nor, in strict society, does Whe see the bridegroom on the wedding-day until they meet at the altar. Only relatives and the most intimate friends are asked to be bridemaids—the sisters of the bride and the bridegroom where it is possible. The bridegroom chooses his best man and the ushers from his circle of relatives and friends of his own age, and from the relations of his fiancee of suitable age. The dresses of the bridemaids are not given unless their circumstances are such as to make it necessary. Any lavish display of jewelry by a bride would be in wretched taste, and strict etiquette prescribes that she shall wear none at all at the altar. Where the bride makes presents to the bridemaids on the wedding day, they generally consist of some article of jewelry, not costly, that is given more as a memento of the occasion than for intrinsic worth. The bridegroom sometimes gives his groomsmen a scarf pin of some quaint device, also as a memento, and as a slight acknowledgment of their services. Where no bridemaids or ushers officiate the order of ceremonies is as follows: The members of the bride's family set off before the bride. She follows with her mother. The bridegroom a watts them, and gives his arm to the mother. They walk up the aisle to the altar, the mother falling back to her position on the left. The father or relative representing him, conducts the bride to the bridegroom, who stands at the altar steps with his face turned toward her as she approaches, and the father falls back to the left. The relatives follow, taking their places standing, those of the bride to the left, those of the groom to the right. On an occasion of social importance s rehearsal frequently precedes the actual ceremony by a day or two. The bride then removes the glove from her left hand, and the groom removes the glove from his right hand, after which the ceremony proceeds according to the particular religious or official service chosen. The father of the bride gives her away by bowing when the question is askod, which greatly simplifies the part formerly assigned to him of stepping forward and placing his daughter's hand in the hand of the clergyman. Perfect self-control should be exhibited by all parties during the ceremony. Nothing is more undignified than exhibitions of feeling in public. People who are unable to control their emotions should stay at home. The bride leaves the altar, taking the bridegroonf s right arm. They pass down the aisle without looking to the right or to the left. It is considered very bad form tp recognize acquaintances by bows and smiles while in the church. The bride and bridegroom drive away in their own carriage. The rest follow in their carriages. Where the circle of friends on both sides is very extensive, it has of late become customary to send invitations to such as are not called to the wedding breakfast to attend the ceremony at church. This stands in place of issuing cards. No one must think of calling on the newly-married pair who has not received either an invitation to the ceremony at church or cards after their establishment in their new home. The custom of giving bridal presents is, in many cities of the United States, no longer considered in good taste, nor is the room for bridal presents any longer thrown open for public inspection, like a shop or exhibition room. Nevertheless the bride acknowledges every gift she receives by a note written in her own hand. At the morning wedding only bridemaids, ushers ana relatives remain to witness the departure of the pair. If the latter commence life in a home of tbeir own, it is customary to issue “at home” cards for a few evenings at no distant date. Only such persons are invited as the yoypg people choose to keep as friends, or perhaps only those whom they can afford to retain. It is an easy and sensible opportunity for carefully - rearranging one's social list, because there are limitations to hospitality which are frequently more necessary than agreeable. This list of old friends ana acquaintances can not be too seriously considered and sifted, and no moment is so favorable as at the begiuning of housekeeping. This custom of arranging a fresh list is admitted as a social necessity, and nobody is oflended in consequence of it.— San Francisco Chronicle.