Rensselaer Republican, Volume 12, Number 29, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 April 1880 — HUMOROUS. [ARTICLE]

HUMOROUS.

A lady playfully struck a reporter of one of the city, dailies on the oheek the other day, and she now carries her arm in a sling. The reporter wasn’t hurt. A Dakota girl has married a Chinaman. He had some difficulty in explaining the state of his heart, but she finally got his cue. —Boston Transcript. One of the sweetest moments in this beautiful world to some people is when they can beat down the price of a tencent artice to nine cents. — Oil City Derrick. Those who deny that two feet make a yard have only to examine some of the feet elevated in the smoking-rooms of our hotels to be convinced of their error. A man who offered for five dollars to Eut any one on the track of a paying i vestment, seated an applicant between the rails of the Boston & Albany Railroad. —Boston Post. “Before I give yon an answer,” said Aramantha to her lover, who had just proposed for her hand, “T have a secret to impart.” “What is it, dearest F’ he asked, pressing his arm around her yielding waist. She blushed and stammered, “My teeth are false.” “No matter,” he cried, heroically, “ Pll marry you in spite of your teeth i” The Cleveland Voice makes the following soleful remarks: The Cipodes Monomeri, mentioned by Plato, were a race of beings whose distinctive characteristic was the possession of one foot of such huge dimensions that when it rained the fortunate C. M. could lie upon his back, and by raising his elephantine pedal above him, find himself securely roofed from the storm. This may partially account for the Chicago woman’s—but we leave that sort of thing to St. Louis.” A young gentleman somewhat numerous in social circles took his sister, a wee miss, to see a family the other day in which he is a regular caller. Hie little girl made herself quite at home and exhibited great fondness for one of the young ladies, hugging her heartily. “How very affectionate she is,” said the lady of the house. “ Yes; just like herbrother,” responded the young lady, unthinkingly. Paterfamilias looked tip sternly over his spectacles, the young gentleman blushed, and there was consternation in the family circle. — N. Y. World.