Rensselaer Republican, Volume 12, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 March 1880 — She Knew All About It. [ARTICLE]

She Knew All About It.

Just about midnight the other night, four men in a Detroit saloon sat looking at a fifth. The fifth one was drunker than the other four. While all men were created equal, some men get drunk twice as fast as others. “It will never do to send him home in this condition,” said one of the four, after a long silence. “No, it would break his wife’s heart,” added a second. “But we can’t leave him here, and if we turn him out the police will run him in,” observed the third. “I have been thinking,” mused the fourth. “He has a telephone in his house. Here is one here. I will make it my painful duty to inform his waiting and anxious wife that he woa’tbe home to-night” He went to the telephone, got her call, and began: “Mrs. Blank, I desire to communicate with you regarding your husband.” “ Well, go ahead.” “He is down town here.” >. “I know that much.” “In descending the stairs leading from the lodge-room he fell ana sprained his ankle.” “Are vou sure it wasn’t his neck?” she asked. “It is not a serious sprain, but we think it better to let him lie on the sofa in the ante-room until morning. Rest assured that he will have the best of care. We are doing ev ” “ Say!” broke in a sharp voice. •‘You bundle him into a wagon and drive him up here, where si can keep him hidden until that drunk goes oft! He won’t be sober before to-morrow night!” “My dear mad ” “ Get out! If he’s sleepy drunk put water on his head! That’s the way I always do.” “Will you let me inform you that P” “No, sir, I won’t! Throw water on his head, get him into some vehicle and rattle him up here, for it’s most midnight now, and it will take me half an hour to get his boots off and push him up-stairs! Remember—pour water on his head and yell ‘fire’ in his ear!”— Detroit Free Press.

The latest story about the FitchSherman diamond necklace runs as follows: When it was received in this country the duties demanded amounted to $20,000, as the lowest estimate of its value was $200,000. The Lieutenant was unable to pay this sum, and an act was passed admitting the necklace free of duty. Lieutenant Fitch then learned that the tax on it in St. Louis would take the whole of his income, and he once more found the necklace an elephant on his hands. General Sherman then returned the necklace, with thanks, to the giver. In reply, the Khedive staid that it was not his desire that the diamonds should be given to any one member of the Sherman family, but as he had four daughters he desired that the diamonds should be mounted in sets and divided equally among them. These daughters are Mrs. Fitch, Ella Sherman, Elizabeth Sherman and Rachel Sherman. The necklace was then returned to the Sherman family and mounted in four pendants. four pairs of splendid solitaire earrings and eight rings. These four ladies are now the possessors of four complete suits of diamonds, the value of each being soiree $75,000. Governor Andrews, of Connecticut, is a thoroughly-domesticated man. One of the reasons given for his not attending. the dinner at Boston in honor of Governor Davis, of Blaine, was that he could not reach his home again before Sundav. However urgent his official or business duties during the week, he makes it a point to pass Sunday at home With his family, having missed doing so but once since he was married.

Mwl Pakkkll, during her recent visit to Philadelphia, received a gift of the communion hned. to her father, Commodore Stuart, by Andrew Jackson. ______