Rensselaer Republican, Volume 12, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 January 1880 — PERSONAL OPINIONS. [ARTICLE]

PERSONAL OPINIONS.

fry Zfjikeaiah Beriho*iknfer. Opinion No. 2— Young Ladies. In presenting an opinion touching the - proper mien and deportment of young ladies a peculiar reticence seems to retard the mind while an inborn diffidence is wont to suggest that the subject is too delicate for an obtuse pen. But back of all this is a strong desire to offer an opinion that I trust will be heeded and acted upon by some young lady, and her life msde bettei and happier thereby. It is said that< <( nothicg succeeds so well as success,” and those who strive, for success are sure to succeed. Following the fall, or sin of Eve and Adam (Eve sinned first), God, after enumerating the punishment that should be visited upon our first mother and her daughters, said, “And thy desire shall be to thy htfsband, and he shall rule over thee.” - From that day nnto the present not only has the desire of wives been unto their busbands but ! all women of a marriageable age have desired to get husbands, which is all ngh’t and proper so long as it is not an inordinate desire. It. is of this inordinate desire, a desire to which all things are made subordinate, that 1 desire to speak. Of course it is very rare that one finds a lady of any age who will admit that she is anxious to unite her fortunes with one of the sterner sex, but then there is no need of her mentioning the matter so long as “actions speak louder than words.” It is a mathematical fact that the number of marriages is decreasing when*compared with the increase of popuFation. There is a cause for this, but what is the cause? The answer is, that our young ladies do not fit themselves to become wives and mothers, and for this reason so many unions are made miserable, and so few result happily. What our.girls of a marriageable age lack most is intelligence, not necessarily a collegiate education, but a general knowledge of literature, of mathematics, of ancient and modern history, of the Bible, of the principles of Christianity and the plan es salvation, of human nature in general and themselves in particular. The average young lady of the present day seems to possess no higher am* bition than to sit and simper, giggle, say silly things and giggle again. Adi her wakeful hoars ace spent in

talking of or contemplating retrospective or prospective amusements, or as she putt it, “fun with the boys.” Not a single ennobling thought enters her rated, not a good resolution finds a lodgment in her heart, not a thought es the of her course in Rfcis entertained for a moment, and the danger she is approaching is not visible to her sight. She is seeking a life of present pleasure which is sure to lead to a future life of woe. But I would not condemn the actions of the average young lady of the present time without being able to present a remedy for the evil. As I have said the most important thing is intelligence. No girl is so poor in this country that she cannot obtain a common school education, although she is never permitted to see the inside of a school room. Where there is a will there will be found a way. No young lady’s time, is so much occupied with the duties of life that she cannot give an hour or two each day to the pursuit of knowledge. The young lady that possesses intelligence and deports herself in an intelligent manner will be acceptable to intelligent society and will choose an intelligent husband, while the giddy, illiterate girl will seek society most compatible to her nature and=eke out an existence on a much lower grade of life. About every young lady is just what she educates herself to be.

The argument on the other side is that the girls are not so much to blame because society and fashion arc ruining our young people, and “you might as well be out of the world as out of the fashion.” I answer that our young ladies largely compose what is called “society,” and if they correct themselves society will be very much improved. What is called society at the present time is but a hollow mockery, and poorly counterfeits the name. If the girls would cease their hunt after husbands and give their time to the development of the mind and the acquirement of the knowledge cf cookery and general housekeeping, life would prove more of a reality and marriage become indeed a happy state. I am forced to conclude, however, that if the marriageable young ladies lend all their efforts to the procurement of husbands there must be a cause for it. Ah, yes, here it is. Society has said if a young lady is compelled through necessity, or otherwise engages to perform any menial service for another, she cannot be admitted to our “set,” because there mujt be a distinction between servants and masters without regard to wealth or mental ability. And for this reason young ladies who have “no visible means of support” seek matrimony rather than bo scoffed at by “society” for engaging in the common drudgeries of life. But young lady, let me whisper something in your ear that time and experience has proven to be as true and as sure as heaven itself: Nineteen out of every twenty ynung ladies who marry without the intelligence mentioned above, and u itbont realizing the terrible responsibilities they are taking upon themselves, regret in bitter tears that they ever submitted themselves to the bondage of the matrimonial yoke. Or in other words, if one could force the truth in regard to this matter from the secret recesses of every married woman's heart who has not been married to exceed twenty years, a great majority of them would say, “Notwithstand ing I have been reasonably successful if I had my life to live over again I would choose the path of single blessedness in preference to the alluring highway of matrimonial happiness.” O! the bitter tears <.f sorrow, grief and repentance that hundreds of thousands of young wives and young mothers are today shedding over the delusion that led them to link their lives with the one whose smiles and care-ses before marriage were soon converted into frowns and curses.

Y’oung lady, I say to you as a friend, if you desire true happiness pay no heed to the dictations of “society” and do not seek to frep youfself from the common drudgeries of life by engaging in the uncertain lottery of matrimony. You had better remain the independent servant of a superior than the slave of your equal. Marriage is a human corral from which only death can release. The courts may give a writ of divorcement, but and act can never be andons, and such acts can never be blotted from memory. To the yonng ladies of Rensselaer and Jasper county I want to drop this word of advice before I close this articles Don’t he in a hurry to get married. Seek first all the useful branches; acquaint,yourself with the imperfections of your own disposition and correct them as far as possible; let society sneer if it finds occasion to; never forget that you owe it to yourself to reach if possible the highest type of human character; and*in due time good and worthy men will seek you- for a companion;—if they do not, then rest content with the though* that yon have acquired a knowledge that will support you and give you as much if nofmore real pleasure than is experienced by the most happily maud matrons.