Rensselaer Republican, Volume 12, Number 16, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 January 1880 — SENSE AND NONSENSE. [ARTICLE]

SENSE AND NONSENSE.

Stir pot, eight o’a, f 1,006.000.00. A mam with a wheelbarrow carries all before him.— Boston Transcript. In asking a man to settle his bill, the thing is “ no sooner said than don.*’ From the moment that a defect can no longer be concealed we exaggerate Tight boots and an accusing conscience are about equal in their ability to make a man uncomfortable. It is, for some reason, a great deal easier to hate a bad man than to keep from being one yourself.—.AT. Y. Herald. Why is it that people always see paragraphs that reflect unpleasantly upon them in the newspapers, and, when they have a particularly favorable notice, they happen not to have read the paper that day? 1 “I was not aware that you knew him,” said Tom Smith to an Irish friend, the other day. “Knew him?” said he, in a tone which comprehended the knowledge of more than one life, ‘‘l knew him when his father was a boy!” I» boys only knew that when they areaway from mother’s presence her heart is with them, and when they return her eyes have interrogation points of interest in them, they would be careful about the places they visit and the associations they form. ‘‘How far,” asks an exchange, “will bees go for honey?” The answer to this conundrum is unknown to us, but it is a well-known fact that a bee will go miles out of r its way for the purpose of stinging a hare-footed boy on the heel.— Norristown Herald. Elder sister (to little one who apg eared to take great interest in Mr. kibbonaj time your eyes were shut in sleep. J ’ Little pet —“ I think not. Mother told me to keep my eyes open when you and Mr. Skibbons were together.”

No true lady Will bounce out of the room and slam the door after her when asked to forego her new silk dress for a few davs and let her husband settle an old cigar bilL —Detroit Free Press. And no true man, simply because he edits a paper, will rush into print with his family troubles. —Louisville Courier - Journal. A Nevada newspaper says that the pursuit qf agriculture in some parts of that State is not marked by that calm monotony so prized and praised by the old-fashioned lovers of husbandry. Owing to the sterility of the soil and the uncertainty of titles, the Nevada agriculturist is obliged to plow both his own soil and his neighbors with buckshot and rifle-balls. The Boston Sunday Courier is responsible for this: A popular clergyman was greatly bored by a lady who admired him without reserve. “Oh. my dear Mr. said she, last Sunday afternoon; “there isn’t any harm in one loving one’s pastor, is there?” “ Certainly not, madam,” replied the worthy cleric; “ not the least in the world," so long as the feeling is not reciprocated.” As originally made this world was too warm for a man to catch on with any comfort. Professor Proctor says it took three hundred and fifty million years for the thing to cool down for the formation of strata, on which something could stand. The Professor is particular as to the even fifty in the millions. He is positive that it was one million years more than three hundred and forty-nine millions.— N. O. Picayune.

A gentleman in Paris paid a visit the other day to a lady, in whose parlor he saw a portrait of a lovely woman of, say, five-and-twenty. Upon the entrance of the lady, her visitor asked her if the portrait was a family portrait, and was told that it represented her deeeased daughter. ‘‘Has it been long since you lost herp” asked the gentleman. “Alas! sir,f’ replied the lady, “she died just after her birth, and I had a portrait painted to represent her as she would have appeared if she had lived until no\v.”-*r Studies in Paris, by De Amiris. An emigrant at (Hie* Union Station, in Toronto, while waiting for the Western express, invested live cents in apples, and distributed them among three or four companions. On cutting one of the fruit through the center he was surprised to find solidly Imbedded therein a silver half-dollar.' How the coin came there is a mystery, hut the appearance of the apple would indicate that some one had cut it in halves, placed the coin in sideways, andglued the portions together again. The apple'woman who sold the miit wanted to claim the coin, but the shrewd foreigner would not have it that way. 'fj A burglar forced an entrance into the house of Hawley Landers at Wallington, early Sunday morning, and attempted to chloroform Mr. Landers, bat awakened him instead. The robber, who was masked, demanded his money and threatened to shoot him if it was not forthcoming. The noise, tosether5 ether with the screams of Mrs. Laners' daughter, brought to the rescue their hired boy, WiUiim Doyle, who seized an old-fashioned iron shovel and struck the burglar about the face and head with it several times. A struggle ensued, but the burglar finally made his escape through the cellar, the way by whicn he had entered, leaving, however, plenty of blood to show that the shovel had done good service. The lad, who showed more pluck than many a man, would have done under the circumstances, is only sixteen years of age. The burglar, with his accomplice, was tracked about three miles in the mad, and then the trail led into the woods and was lost— New Haven (Conn.) Courier, tu