Rensselaer Republican, Volume 12, Number 14, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 December 1879 — REMINISCENCE OF JASPER COUNT. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

REMINISCENCE OF JASPER COUNT.

4* IptoMN st* a Debatlag ba4 MIcW la the Blsfraphy •< Not a thousand miles from Rensselaer nor a thousand years ago there dwelt in one of tne out townships a worthy citizen who for convenience we will call Jones, and although not a deacon in fact he was with propriety called Deacon Jones on account of his assumed dignity and the pompous manner in which he conducted himself in public.— But withal the Deacon had a pretty long head, as will be seen by the, portraits of him presented below, which were drawn by our special artist, and considering his opportunity was well informed in all things pertaining to the usual pursuits of life and the laws of the government from the affairs of the school district to the duties of Congress and the chief magistrate of the nation. For this reason his opinion was consnlted on all questions of public interest,-and tor a number of years the physiognomy of Deacon Jones was visible upon election boards, at the school meetings and at all bublic gatherings. While be did notprofesschristianity be was generally considered by all a strictly moral man, and only those who knew him best ever intimated that the Deacon would occasionally indulge in a little silent profanity or fail to-give gospel measure in the sale of the products of his farm. He was not a constant attendant at church and only when his massive brain was not too deeply exercised with other, and to him more important subjects, would he be found sitting under the droppings of the sanctuary. But the Deacon, notwithstanding he was not the smartest or the best man in the township, held a prominent place in the hearts of the people and nothing of a public character seemed to be complete unless sanctioned by his august presence. The particular incident which we started out to relate, we have it from pretty good authority, happened in about this wise:

Some time after the usual Christmas festivities bad been enjoyed, the holiday season had passed over, and a dearth of amusement was likely to pervade the settlement, several young men and ladies concluded to revive the debating society which bad prospered so finely the winter previous. These debating societies of course purported to be for the development of the mind and the cultivation of oratorical powers, but ostensibly they were organized and perpetuated for the purpose of furnishing a place for the congregating of those of a marriageable age of both sexes who were not yet willing to enter Into the matter of courting as purely a business transaction. Upon the occasion of which we are about to speak Deacon Jones was chosen prescient or* judge of the debate, a capacity in*which he had served many times previously with much pride and distinction The question to be discussed at the school house on the evening in question was, “Resolved, That if one’s wife and mother fall into the water at one time, and it is possible only to save one of them, that the preference should be given to the wife, all things being eqyal.” The night for which this debate was set was unusually dark and rainy arid consequently the number of spectators was somewhat limited but Deacon Jones came promptly to time as did also the principal speakers. Of course the Deacon was called to occupy the judge’s chair,

and after the necessary preliminaries were mad? the debate commenced. The question being rather .a novel one, and one that particu* Larly interested the softer sex, there was a larger ner cent, of ladies present than on former occasions, and the young deciples of Demosthenes arguing in the affirmative, accepting this as a fitting time to exhibit the Jove that pervaded their rhanly bosoms for the women who should be so fortunate as to become the partners of their joys, extended their remarks beyond the usual ‘time allotted them to the displeasure of those who were prepared to expatiate upon the duties of children to parents and the maternal affection manifested by all good mothers for lheir offspring. Considering the time and the opportunity the arguments presented some thoughts that wauld do credit to higher spheres and more appreciative audiencas, but the subject being almost inexhaustible the debate was continued to a late hour, and so far beyond the usual time for

the Deacon to retire that he began to feel exceedingly weary aad frequently yawsod in a xaoat drowsy manner. r ,

But notwithstanding all this there seemed to be no lagging on the part of the debaters until the party for the defense closed their arguments. As was the custome, those of the affirmative who had opened the debate, were permitted to make the closing argument, and as is usually the case they repeated much of what they had said before until the same became decidedly monotonous, so much so. in fact that the Deacon bad ceased his yawning, and while evolving the ponderous question in his mind he closed his eyes, dropped his chin low down in his bosom—and went to sleep, which wa« attested in the heavy manner in which be breathed.

When this scene presented itself the idea* of a middle-aged. man, who had not what might be called a brotherly love for the Deacon, began to work, and his thoughts were put into action. Quietly moving about through the little audience be whispered to them what a good joke it would be on the positionloving Deacon to quietly withdraw and let the old man alone in his glory. Some thought it would be most too mean a trick, but the majority approved of the movement and the rest readily consented to offer no opposition to the plot.— When the last, speaker closed his argument the audience retired by common consent, and the lights being put out, the door was quietly closed and locked, and the old man unaware ot the changes that had taken place, slumbered and slept until the night began to dawn towards another day.

What the Deacon thonght, or what he said, or what hopdid when he awoke that night and found the old school-house as dark and as silent as the grave, can on|y be im agined, for he never mentioned it to a living soul, and none dared to question him in regard to the matter through fear of being charged with conspiring to the plot and un necessarily securing the old man’s displeasure. But it is very evident that he was somewhat alarmed as well as bewildered when he aroused to consciousness, and that when he fully comprehended the situation be expressed his opinion in a manner not very complimentary of those who had manifested such undue appreciation of bis valuable services. The conclusion is that after finding his hat, to prevent his stumbling headlong over the low benches, he felt his way to the door as best he could by the aid of his cane, but finding it locked he muttered inaudably for a moment and them turned toward the nearest window, through which he made, his exit as speedily as Lis rheumatic limbs and the nature of the case would admit. Because he was found at home the next morning apparently none the W’orse for his night’s experience, it is safe to conclude that his journey home was attended with no serious mishap, but from that night until the day of his death he neither by word or act manifested any desire to serve the “dear people” in an official capacity. How his decision on the question discussed was obtained we shall never be able x to tell, but it is said he bad fully made up his mind to decide in favor of the negative party some time before he dropped off to sleep, being prompted to such a decision by the conclusion that if the wife drowned he could get a new wife, but he never could get a new mother. About that time also it is* said a wag remarked, “Yes, the Deacon knows how it is himself. He is nowjjving with his third wife.”