Rensselaer Republican, Volume 12, Number 11, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 November 1879 — SENSE AND NONSENSE. [ARTICLE]

SENSE AND NONSENSE.

Paddy's worst Bull—John.— Buff ale Express. A falls report: The roar of Niagara. —St. Louis Spirit. A sole-stirring incident—Treading on the point of a tack. To the wood-sawer, life is full of saw-rows.—WAifeAali Times. Advice to oyster-eaters, candidates and American mothers in Europe— Watch the oount. “Pay as you go” is a good motto, but the theaters make you pay as you come in.— Boston Post. Man can subdue the elephant, the lion and the rhinoceros, but the tiger generally gets the best of him. Cacsar’s motto was to always be first, but when it comes to fighting a duel we prefer to be second.— Boston Post. Says the Republique Francoises “It is now difficult to tell an Irishman from an Englishman unless by his vivacity.” The happiest point in a maiden's life. That is higher prized than wealth or fame. Is when the happy day arrives That necessitates a change of name. —Danieltonville Sentinel. John Bright declares that if he was a teacher in a school he would make it “ a very important part Of his business” to impress every boy and girl with the duty of being kind to all animals. That girl is clutching time right by the bangs who, when her “gentleman friend” drops in to spend an evening, gives him a gentle hint as to what she would like to have about Christmas. The following is an exact copy of a prescription presented to a Fair Haven (Conn.) drug store a few days ago: “Gum reabic 3 Opin 3 Ex Struct of lickers 3.” The figures indicate that three cents’ worth of each article was required. An abundance of guests and limited lodging-room caused Jimmy to be “ slept out” at a neighbor's. On arising in the morning he was invited toremain at breakfast. (“Well, Iguessnot,” he replied; “we have mighty good breakfasts at our house when we have company."— New Haven Register. A poem entitled “To My Mule,” in the Louisville Courier-Journal, closes with these lines: “8o now, my mule, your matin dubbins munch, An-1 I will trim your tail the while you ” The sudden conclusion of the poem is -very ominous of the fate of the author. This country is full of suffering caused by unpaid labor. An industrious man in Chicago, last week, pried off the lids of six desks, broke the locks of four money-drawers and blew up threp safes, and netted less than one dollar. Yet we are told that times are improving.— Andrews' American Queen. “ That passage in your novel doesn’t seem particularly new, you know.” “ Well, maybe it isn’t, but then what does Solomon say? Nothing new under the sun, you know. Take up any book you like, and I defy you to find in it a single word, a single syllabic, a single letter even, that hasn't been used over and over and over again.”

A young Irishman, whose remittances from home had been stopped, wrote very urgent letters, telling of his distress, and promising to reform if the remittances were continued. When he failed to get what he wanted he resorted to stratagem, and wrote a sad letter to his father, telling him that he was dead and wanted money for the funeral expenses. It is related that a Yankee who had just lost his wife was found by a neighbor emptying a bowl of soup as large as a hand-basin. “Why, my goodness, Elan thus!” said the gossip, “ is that all you care for your wile?” “Wai,” said the Yankee, “I’ve been cryin’ all the momin!, and after I finish my soup I’ll cry another spell. That’s fair, anyhow.” —Syracuse Herald. Waggs went to the station of one of our railroads the other evening, and finding the seats all occupied, said, in aloud tone, “Whythis car isn’t going!” Of course these words caused a general stampede, and Waggs took the best seat. The train soon moved off. In the midst of the indignation the wag was questioned. “You said this car wasn’t going?” “Well, it wasn’t then,” replied Waggs, “but it is now.” A young man writes to know if it is proper to take hold of a young lady’s arm in promenading. Certainly it is. Nothing looks so nice as to see a tall youth walking 'with a little lady who comes not up to his shoulder, with his arm hooked into hers, lifting her half off her feet every time he steps. The nearer you can reach the appearance of taking a lady into custody, like a policeman, the more genteel it is, you know. —Cincinnati Saturday Night. Ever since that little trifle of over $5,000,000, accidentally forgotten in the Hopkins estate, turned up, we have been examining-our old vests and things under the firm conviction that we have absent-mindedly at odd times left a few hundred thousand coupons, bonds and such trifles in the pockets. There has nothing turned up so far except a ticket, bearing interest at four per cent., for'the family watch, redeemable in—well, you know how it is yourself. Exchange. Juries sometimes give very curious verdicts. One of the most remarkable was that found by a Washoe jury in a case of milk-stealing. The prisoner was tried on a charge of stealing milk from another man’s cow. It was proved that he hail frequently milked the animal at night, thereby causing his neighbor great vexation and annoyance. The jury desired to express in their verdict their sense of the aggravated nature of the offense. They therefore found the prisoner “ guilty of milking the now in the first degree.”