Rensselaer Republican, Volume 12, Number 9, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 November 1879 — SENSE AND NONSENSE. [ARTICLE]

SENSE AND NONSENSE.

A horse heir: A Colt. — Salem Bun beam. A string-gent necessity: Hangings criminal.— Baltimore Every Saturday. When a sick man feels well he sits up. When a well'man feels sick he sits down. Samuel Johnson said that he who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. “ The deeds that men do lire after them,” while their “dads” are divided among the afflicted relatives.— N. Y. News. Yakoob Khan has abdicated. “ Yakoob Khan’t stand everything,” he remarked, with a sigh, as he handed in his resignation. The evils of men’s wives live after them, while the good that they do is seldom spoken of with safety to a stepmother.— Toronto Graphic. Remittent fever is not contagious. At least delinquent subscribers do not seem to catch it, no matter how much they are exposed. - - Keokuk Gate City. It was a baker who, in response to the admonition, “Go West, young man; go West,” replied that he proposed to stick to the yeast. —Albany Journal. “Madam,” said Jones to Mrs. Brown, the other day, “ you are talking simply rubbish.” “Yes, sir,” replied the laay; “ and I do so because I wish you to comprehend me.” There’s a school teacher up town who is so precise that when she wishes to say any one made a keen sally of wit always refers to it as a “ sarafoof wit.” —Steubenville Herald.

. “ The only jokes women like to read arc those which reflect ridicule upon men.” “ Yes,” contemporary, “on taking up a paper a woman invariably turns to the marriage column.” If men could say “no” as easily as they say, “let’s take a drink,” there wouldn't be as many “plain drunks” for the reporter to record in his police court proceedings.— Keokuk Constitution. The price of leather belting has advanced from fifteen to twenty per cent.; but what does the small boy care? He knows very well that though belting does come high, he is bound to have it. —Chicago Times. A schoolboy spelled d-e-c-i-m-a-1 and pronounced it dismal. “ What dc you mean by calling that dismalP” exclaimed the teacher. “ ’Cause it is,” answered the boy. “It’s dismal fractions. All fractions are dismal. There isn’t a bit of fun in any of ’em.” An association of ladies in Pennsylvania have succeeded in purchasing the house which General Washington occupied as his headquarters at Valley Forge, and have begun a movement to buy the two thousand acres adjoining, in which the old breastworks are still in good preservation, and erect a sol* diers’. heme there. Some Regulators caught a horsethief in Colorado the other day, and Sive him his choice of hanging or joing a new “Pinafore” company. The man looked up, with an expression of calm resignation on his face, and without hesitation pointed to his neck. They pardoned him for his good taste, much to his surprise.— Exchange. The Methodist Bishop Peck we igha over three hundred ana fifty pounds, and while sleeping at a friend’s house in Syracuse, N. Y., recently, the bed on which he reposed suddenly gave way in the middle of the night, and came down with a tremendous crash. ‘• Wh—what’s the matter, Bishop?” cried the host, rushing up stairs in his night-gown. “Al\, nothing in particular, brother,” mumbled the dignitary from beneath a chaos of quilts, mattresses and bedEosts; “Only tell your wife if I’m not ere in the morning to look for me in the cellar.”

The other day a genuine tramp, with a stomach yearning for a picked-up meal, undertook to enter a yard on Winder street, A large, fierce dog stood at the gate to give him a hostile welcome, and after vainly trying to propitiate the animal the tramp called to a lad of ten who was making a kite on the veranda, “Hey, sonny!” “Yes, rm bay,” was the reply. “Say, bub, call off"yer dog!” “No use—no use,” replied the lad. “Even if you got in here ma’s waiting at the kitchen door with a kettle of hot water. Sarah’s working the telephone to get the police, and I’m hereto holler ‘murder!’ and wake up the whole street!” —Detroit Free Press. • Traveling stones are no longer peculiar to Australia, similar curiosities having recently been found in Nevada, which are described as almost perfectly round, the majority of them as large as a walnut, and of an iron nature. When distributed about upon the floor, table, or other level surface within two or three feet of each other, thev immediately begin traveling toward a common center, and there lie huddled in a bunch like a lot of eggs in a nest. A single stone, removed to a distance of three and a half feet, upon being released at once started oft" with wonderful and somewhat comical celerity to join its fellows; taken away four or five feet it remained motionless. They are found in a region that is comparatively level and is nothing but bare rock. Scattered over this bare region are little basins from a few feet to a rod or two in diameter, and it is in the bottom of these that th€ rolling stones are found. They are from the size of a pea to five or six inches in diameter. The cause of these stones rolling together is doubtless to be found m the material of which they are composed, which appears to be lodcstone or magnetic iron ore.