Rensselaer Republican, Volume 12, Number 7, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 October 1879 — SENSE AND NONSENSE. [ARTICLE]

SENSE AND NONSENSE.

Aeon oat the tree is worth two on the toe, t Application lor relief— A mustard plaster. A curl may indie sml smile, and be anwillin’ stilL > mil 1 < T i ? •

(tare touch at nature: When you get »r nose frost-bitten.— N. Y. Newt. Wht is the coupling chain of a loco- ' >tive like love P—Became it's a tender Wjnpenta

Ais nioe to be handsome, bat it is a deal handsomer to be nice.— (0.) Courier. * monster ¥ such hideous atrom w ho adopts it must be mon- •« a ? en * —Buffalo Xxprcss. n k; ‘d stroke for a husband:” UombiA. h#ir witk three-legged Afcnore Every Saturday. warm in'your praises ?T / r il friends. Friendship I Enraged, not discouraged. ’thV ** would have b J?°* K1 knowing What poor oounHow men'staa, ;<r j , into hU MU ' !? mured, .** Hot i , bor Mid. -Coll 3LBIStSSS: Sss»s?s3ft3S 'Times-Journal. , . fjAvr: “Why did you vour last placeP” Servant: “Yt ve / see mum, I had- M pay for all ’ and as they ootue to nic« h ‘ ’ wages, yer see, mum, it was aT d A impogission that I couldn't stariv* u M. Falconnbt, who was a V physician, was called in by a chondriac. The lady declared that * ate, drank and slept well. “Ah!” sq the doctor, ** come quick; let me gi\ you some medicine, and we shall soo

get rid of all that!”— French Pnjyer. All the spelling reforms of all the men in all the world will not succeed in lessening the intensity of the schoolboy’s affection, who scrawls on bis slate with a broken pencil, *' I luv yu,” and hands it across the aisle, with a big apple, to a pretty little blue-eyed gin who reads in the second, reader. Littlb Nellie, a four-year-old, was punished by her mother tne other evening for some misdemeanor. The little one sat quiet for a few moments and then began scolding, winding up with: “Well, 1 never could see the use bf mothers! - Always spanking little girls, and it don’t do any good, •anyhow!’’ “ The true journalist is a free, untrammeled creature, governed by none,” proudly wrote the editor in his leader on “That Mighty Engine, the Press.” Then he went home to dinner, and was f ingloriously chased under the bed by his wue and a broom, for omitting to send *p the ingredients fovthe noonday meal. —Rockland Courier.

“ Well, my man,” said a military doctor to a patient who had been on “low diet” for a long time, “how are youP” “Much better, sir.” “Could Jon eat a small chicken to-day?” “That could, sir.” “ What would you like it stuffed withP” “ Please, your Honor,” replied the hungry patient, “ I would like it stuffed with another.” Horn Teachings.—l must tell you of a conversation I overheard on the beach at Trcport between two children who were playing in the sand together. The small boy said to the little girl: “Do you wish to be my little wife?” The little girl, after reflection: “Yes my boots!”— Engti , *h Correspondent. Two gra.m M akians were wrangling the other day, one contending that it was only proper to say “My wages is high,” while the other noisily insisted that the correct thing was “My wages are high.” Finally they stopped a daylaborer, and submitted the question to him. “Which do you say. ‘Your wages is high,’ or ‘Your wages are higlif’” “Oh, off wid yer nonsense,” he said, resuming his pick; “yer nayther ov ye right; me wages is low, bad luck to it.” * *■

At a garrison ball, a newly-arrived ensign, wishing for a partner, was offered an introduction to A young lady of somewhat large proportions. He declined, saying he would just as soon drag a cart about the room. The lady, who chanced to h® the Colonel’s daughter, heard the remark, and secretly resolved to have her revenge when an opportunity offered. Later in the evening, the young officer discovered the fact of her being CKe ‘daughter of his ‘‘chief*.’ and.thought it, wall, to retract his former 'refusal. • On i. being presented, and soliciting the favor of the A*xt Wftlta.. she coofy. Hcftred and said, “I thank you, but I am much too heavy a cart for any donkey to draw.— English Paper. Dean Jus' “Reminiscences of Scottish Life and Character,” says: Atone time when the crops were much laid by continuous thing, and wind was earnestly desired in order to restorwthem to a fit condition for the sickle, “a minister,’’ he says, “in his Sabbath service expressed their wants in prayer, as follows: ‘Oh, Lord, we pray Thee to send us wind, not a ranin’, tamin', tearin’ wind, but a nook in’, soughin’, winniA’ wind.’ In like manner, I haVe heard of a prayer preferred by a somewhat simple New Englander, who was overheard offering his petition behind a stamp of bushes in the field: ‘ Oh, Lord, I want a new coatgood cloth—none of your coarse, flimsy kind of staff bait a good niece of thick, warm, comfortable broadcloth, such as Bill Hale wears.’”