Rensselaer Journal, Volume 12, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 February 1903 — Our Man About Town [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Our Man About Town

Discourses on Many Subjects and Relates Sundry and Other Incidents.

rpHE Man who Sees Things says he be was on a Monon train coming home the other day and saw a drummer get the frozen glove in great style. The drummer looked across the aisle. The seat beside a pretty girl was vacant. Going over, he said: “Is this engaged?” “No,” said the girl, “but I am; so it won’t do you any good.” V rpOO many people talk shop when away from business. It is a good thing to lock up your prices and schemes when you lock your office door at night. Your friends will enjoy your company much better If you will let them forget that you sell dried beef or talk insurance or that flour is advancing in price. You might as well wear a placard on your breast telling your occupation as to be forever talking about it. * *

A N old maid who sometimes writes news items for our paper found these hints amongst some of her youthful scribblings: “Girls, when you are married and have daughters of your own remember that once upon a time you liked— To giggle in church. Make goo-goo eyes at the preacher. To play games in the dark when ma wasn’t there. To wear your best clothes sometimes when it wasn’t Sunday. To play shinney and ball with the boys. A A teacher in one of the outlying districts recently requested her pupils to write a sentence containing the words “sanctimonious” and “anonymous,” explaining that the first word meant “hypocritical and somewhat serious looking,” and the second “without a name.” When the papers were handed ifi the next morning she was convulsed by the following sentence that met her eye: “On my way to school this morning I met an anonymous dog trying to chase a sanctimonious cow.” •V T\OWN on Front street there was nothing doing one evening. The girl had looked at the clock and turned up the lamp a little. Still he wouldn’t take the hint. Then she got up and hung on the back of a rocking-chair. Then she murmured, “Mr. Staylate.” Nothing was forthcoming lor the caller was apparently lost in reverie. The young lady called his name again and this time there was a sharp note

such as women rarely ever develops until after marriage. “Why, Miss !” he exclaimed, “you fairly made me start!” “Good,” she rejoined. “I began to be afraid that nothing would make you start.” In a few minutes more he was in the open air. * # * /"\NE of the teachers who attended the institute last Saturday reports that she has several bright little pupils who make as much fun for her as a barrel of mice. The other day she was giving some ideas about punotuation, and closed by saying emphatically: “Now, when you come to a period you must stop.” A little blackeyed girl then commenced to read, and went on in a reckless manner regardless of the period in question, whereupon her seat mate, a fat little lad with a Senator Hanna face, eleotrifled the sohool by yelling lustily “Whoa!” He grasped the situation.

TTTE heard two people roasting secret societies one day last week and it caused us to pause and review the daily walks and talks of .individuals. Gur conclusions were that they knew nothing about lodges or the good work that that they do. If a member is ill the membership takes turns in sitting up with the sick one, and if it comes to the name of a member who cannot go, he hires some one to go in his place. Every meeting night the question is asked:—“Have we a sick member or a member in distress?” Not many churches look after the membership BO carefully. It is true and we are sorry it is so, that there are some lodge members who do not live any nearer to the rules of the order than some church members do to the principles of Christianity, but the lodges have good men and churches have plenty of good women and some good men/

One Minute Gough Oure gives relief in one minute, because it kills the microbe which tickles the' mucous membrane, causing the cough, and at the same time clears the phlegm, draws out the inflammation and heals and soothes the affected parts. One Minute Cough Oure strengthens the lungs, wards off pneumonia and is a harmless and never failing cure in all curable cases of Goughs, Golds, and Group. One Minute Gough Oure is pleasant to take, harmless and good alike for young and old. Long’s Drug Store.