Rensselaer Journal, Volume 12, Number 33, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 January 1903 — Our Man About Town [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Our Man About Town

Discourses on Many Subjects and Relates Sundry and Other Incidents.

/V local contributor says that newspapers slander women in petty things, such as time required to get dressed for a show or an evening party. It may be inferred that the same contributor is a lady of uncertain years, residing near this town, who has a reform bee in her bonnet. Now, in point of fact, most of the maßonline readers of the Journal will support the current stores of feminine slowness when it comes to artistic piling up of coiffure, or the roofing of the same with a hat. The “devil” who sometimes writes poems has one upon this subject that is'worth perusing: He asked her out for a sleigh ride, She promised she would go; But when she’d pinned her bonnet on, There wasn't any snow. He took her to the “sociable” And they were two hours late Because she went back thirteen times To put her hat on straight. He asked her if she'd marry him, She caught on fast you bet; But tho’ he’s waited twent years. Her gown is not made yet.

A local expert who prefers his information under sub rosa guarantee says that he can name seven young Rensselaer girls upon whom he has waited from 30 minutes to 4 hours and 30 minutes to get ready for church, and further states that he knows a girl who looks in the mirror ten times before she will venture out upon the street. The same informant says that one evening he was dated to take a girl to a swell banquet, called at nine o’clock, found she was not ready, waited till ten and she did not appear, slept another hour on the sofa before she was ready, and when they finally arrived at the hall saw that the janitor was putting out the lights. May the Lord have mercy on our souls! V AN Ohio editor say that hay fever is caused by kissing grass widows. A Missouri editor says it is caused by grass widows kissing a fellow by moon-light. An lowa editor says it is caused by the fellow kissing his girl while he is feeding hay to a cow, and an [Eastern Kansas exchange is of the opinion that it isoausedby missing the girl and kissing the cow. A political editor says it is caused by two much kissing in the heyday of youth. V /V new fad in men’s tailoring, which has met with the unqualified approval of the gentler sex, has appeared. It is in the overcoat sleeves. The new sleeves have an opening at the outside seam, just above the elbow. On chilly nights the woman with the escort, instead of the conventional light touch upon the arm, thrusts her hand into the sleeve pocket, her hand going under the man’s forearm and grasping his wrist. Thus she secures a firm support and finds a source of warmth better than that afforded by a muff. Besides the man can thrust his own hands into the pocket out of the cold without the appearance of self consideration that the action sometimes gives. . * * * /V young man living near here was ’ £X - troubled somewhat with indigestion and after being treated by a physician for an attack of that ailment was warned to be more careful as to what food he ate and to omit cabbage and other - n on-digestible stuff from his bill of fare. Sometime afterward the doctor was again called in to treat

him for his old complaint. “What have you been eating?” inquired the follower of Aesculapius. “Oh, a little saur kraut and a few other things,” mentioning them over. “I told yon not to eat cabbage,” said the doctor, “and yon have paid no attention to my orders.” “Well” said the patient, who was a graduate of the city high school, “if I had known that kraut had any cabbage in it I would not have eaten It.”