Rensselaer Journal, Volume 12, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 December 1902 — Our Man About Town [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Our Man About Town

Discourses on Many Subjects and Relates Sundry and Other Incidents.

/■'vNE morning last week a Rensaelaer man, who shall be nameless here, had a peculiar experience at his home. The gentleman in question had just got up and was patting on his hope when the oat jlimped upon the table. To eearc it away the man threw hie took at the eat: The Mine harried from the boese and the owner of the eoek started oat te ted Mo theeealste* TW «■*■». x'+mwm M»d hf teprtMMlNhtMi l e geaatee teeateoa (teaßaihs | | M. ■■ ~ wNgHP wRHRMRMb ‘lt may be all rigtt, ate,' aoM the George Washington’s hatehetfaad ail the othah s& called myths and fkiry tales, bat when it oomeo to seying that good whiskey, sah, isn't the one soverign remedy for snake bite the iconoclasts, sah, go a leetle too far. I saw in a papah of more or leas accuracy thet a scientific idiot has jnet discovered that whiskey aggravates—thet’s the infernal term he need—aggravates the poison instead of neutralizing it. Yes, sah, he aotnaUy used thet very term. The man’s a fool, sah, a blithering fool.' ‘Were yon ever bitten by a snake, Colonel?’ asked an incantions bystander. ‘Me?’ shouted the Colonel, in high indignation. ‘Me bitten?’ Why, good ged, sah, do yon think thet any selfrespectin’ snake would throw away a bite on me?’ , Then he threw down two cocktails in agitated succession. V «T have just had a narrow escape x from a fatal attack oi heart disease,” said a drummer who makes this burg semi-often to some Mends who were joking him at the Makeever House. He looked so solemn that those around him feared, for a moment, that he really meant it. Then he took a letter from his pocket and explained. “I’ve received a rebate of f7.fk) from a Cincinnati hotel, where I paid a restaurant check twice. If snoh a thing has ever happened to any other drammer I’d like to get his picture to use as a souvenir. Here’s a little story,” he continued. Not long ago I went to my old home, down east, on

a visit, and the folks got up a reception for me at which I was to sing. Of coarse I proceeded to do my level best, and when I was through the folks did not know how to express themselves and there was an awful silence, which was finally broken by an old man, who stood up, wiping his fbss and his bald head violently, as he M *Pm »-eweatin’ for ye. Jist come soft m* have a stogy. Reckon yon te be deem in the world. Hev ye paMfwbrtelblll here?”’ ••• yrtMte h. Renssetaer. What ssmemreflb* JaanwAL and what happy Ibsgms What vteftoa of Xmas trees est Mm etesetea. What expanse of teastep e« teafla Ohms fhrnlahings all MwtetMMk flrtw aever was snoh a Mtetelmtetelii and inclination «mNt tee way year after year for rtepp* eMweggaMae ia the way of tentetetetef wtea the hour of reJtesSßg lam Bear. And civilisation, tea caMmm at tea wsl and of the weal, tea mteemoat of the north and tee mate, halts for an instant to tatter tete tmpatas at tha cradle of miteaHM. The good old day will be properly abeeraai la Rensselaer. The churches •epseielly by long and interesting programs, wiU attest their loyalty to the Christ memorial. Many private families will load small trees after the hearty German custom. The hopeful odor of chioken, turkey and streamlug plum pudding already exhales through the land. Merciful and mighty is the giver of Xmas day. May peace and prosperity cover the people as by a mantle and the poor look np the Master of the Day’s Work who gave them Xmas day as a special privilege for relaxation and merriment. It wonld seem to be an excellent idea while we are preparing to enjoy the blisses of this season with true abandon to think of the poor as well and give to them oat of our abundance. Some children in this town have never known what it is Jo own a present on Xmas day larger than a saok of cheap candy. Can not the lnokier ones afford to give their poorer brothers something that will make both giver and receiver happier? The Lord of Xmas day preached the brotherhood of man more earnestly than anything else and it wonld seem only right and proper to take this way of following His will npon the day held sacred for the commemoration of His birth.

You will save many doctor bills by keeping Bailey’s Laxative Tablets on hand and taking them freely for constipation, biliousness, liver troubles, fever and indigestion. Very pleasant, effective and natural in action. They invigorate torpid intestines and rouse np the liver. Price 10 and 26c at A. P. Long’s.