Rensselaer Journal, Volume 12, Number 2, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 June 1902 — IKEY’S TRIP WEST. [ARTICLE]

IKEY’S TRIP WEST.

EYE OPENING EXPERIENCES OF A GOTHAMITE. He Thought That, as a New Yorker, He Knew All There Wi» to Know, hot Came to Grief In Several of the Smaller Cities. “You know my brother Ikey, of course?” said the man who was treating a couple of friends to a boat ride to Coney Island. "Ikey and 1 have been partners in business for 12 years. He has always stuck to the desk, while I have done the traveling. Ikey had an. idea that New York couldn't run » a day without him. He also thought himself the cutest, smartest man in the big town. Other New Yorkers who never get ten miles out of town have the same idea. Things happened to me on the road now and then, and I told Ikey about ’em, but I could never get him to believe that there was a man outside of Gotham who knew enough to rake tn a poker pot with a •straight flush in his hand. A few weeks ago I got hurt, and Ikey had to go out or lose custpmers. When he finally concluded to go, he went with his hat on his ear and a pocketful of 50 cent cigars. He was prepared to dazzle everybody. “ ‘lkey,’ said 1 as he was ready to go, ‘look a little out for gum games. You’ll run across chaps who know a crowbar from a clock.’ “‘Bah!’ says Ikey as he picked up his grip and started off with a smile of contempt on his face. “Well, I’m nearly dead of laughing over his adventurers. He got off at Albany and was lugging his grip up town whesa boy steps up and says: “‘Hello, senator! Glad to see you. I’ll carry that grip along and make no charge.’ “It tickled Ikey to be taken for a senator, and it tickled him to save a dime, but the boy got away with the grip, and Ikey was hung up for two days until the police found it. At Rochester, as he was standing around the station, a stranger fell against him and said: “ ‘Beg pardon, but ain’t you the man who is going to build the Panama canal?’ “ ‘l’m thinking of it,’ says Ikey, sober as a judge, but three minutes later he finds his watch gone. “In Buffalo, as he came out of Us hotel, a stranger asked him if he wasn’t the governor and then added, ‘Excuse me while I knock that fly off.’ “Ikey rather carried the idea that he was the governor, but the stranger had got his diamond pin. In Cleveland one of our old customers set out to make things pleasant for my brother and after dinner said to him: “ ‘Say, Ikey, we’ve got a new game out here, and maybe you’d like to take ' a band. It’s called poker, and there’s a great chance to show your nerve by ' bluffing.’ “‘A new game!’ says Ikey »as he ' throws up his hands. ‘Why, i we’ve been playing poker in New York for the last 200 years!’ “Anu I Key took a hand in, and when the Buckeyes got through with Jilm he was S7O out of pocket. Getting along to Toledo, a man worked $25 out of him on a bogus check, and in Detroit he was let in as a sure winner on a horse race and lost $35 more. That same night a thief entered bls room and stole all his clothes, and he had to telegraph to me to get others to get home in. While he was on the way a pickpocket got his last dollar, 1 and he couldn’t eveh pay car fare home from the station. It’s a sore subject with Ikey, and you fellows must handle him gently, but it will do him a heap of good In the end. The swelling In his head has gone down by a; third already, and he is almost ready to admit that he isn’t infallible.”—New York Sun.