Rensselaer Journal, Volume 12, Number 1, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 June 1902 — Our Man About Town. [ARTICLE]

Our Man About Town.

w Discusses 1 Sundry \ and J Other Matters.

A man in this town oalls pneumonia “pomonia.” * * * Some people call a wedding invitation a dun. « * * We heard a man say the other day that he likes to go to funerals occasionally just to see the people. It is a wonder somebody does not go to his fttneral. * * m One of our citizens lost a job recently just because he could not control his temper, but he undoubtedly could by this time. When he was unable to control himself he did not know his job was in danger. # * * There is only one real independent man in town. He does just as he pleases and does it when he pleases. He has not a thing to do, however, and not a friend in town. He is so selfish and independent that he hates himself. * * * You often hear it said that when you hear a disagreeable thing or a bit of gossip that you ought to let it go in at one ear and out at the other. But we know a man of whom it is said he knows so little that nothing ever gets to “the other ear.” *** There was a cheap John auction in town once. A man went in and bought a lot of goods that he did not want, simply because they were cheap. Afterwards he went into one of our local stores and bought a lot of goods that he really needed and then asked that they be charged to his account, which was already over a year old, because he said he had spent all his ready money at the auction. This story, being true, has no moral, but it shows that there are some very funny people in the world. The cheeky ones are

not all dead yet.

A man in this community bought a sewing machine of a Chicago mall order house onoe upon a time. The machine came and was so unsatisfactory that the purchaser tried to exchange it with a home dealer for a good one. The merchant took out his pocket-book and handed over every cent he had with the remark: “A man who has as much nerve as you have will get it anyway, so I might as well surrender.” V Call a girl a chick, and she smiles; call a woman a hen and she howls. Call a young woman a witch, she is pleased; call an old woman a witch, and she is indignant. Call a girl a kitten and she rather likes it; call a woman a oat and she’ll hate you. Women are queer. If you call a man a gay dog it will flatter him. Call him a pup, a cur or a hound/ and he will alter the map on your face. He don’t mind being oalled a bull or a bear, and yet he would object to being mentioned as a calf or a oub. Men are queer, too. * * * The phrase “Go way back and sit down” is becoming somewhat of a chestnut and being varied in different localities. Here is the way they say it over at Remington: “Go in the rear and lay down.” At Wheatfield they say, “Dig down the line and take It easy.” The Monon railroad boys put it this way, “Break off two car lengths and take a sleeper.” Rensselaer, which is always trying to lead in everything now-a-days, springs ic thus, “Please will you retire and be seated ?”