Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 47, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 May 1902 — Our Man About Town, [ARTICLE]

Our Man About Town,

Discusses Sundry and Other Matters.

Have you noticed that tan shoes are out of date? There is only o.ie' man in this town who still wears them. One man we know was bound to keep in style at all costs, so he had his tan shoes dyed black. If yon want to be in style don’t wear tan shoes. * * We heard of an man the other day who said: “I tell you, I have been through the flint mill.” Were you ever through the “flint mill?” Do you know what a flint mill is? Judging from the pride a man manifests when he tells about it, it is a good thing to do to go through the flint mill. * « « A girl in this town went away to a missionary meeting and was nicely entertained by some of the parishioners. She had a nicb time, but was given a feather bed to sleep on and the result was she hardly slept 9 wink. She said she felt all the time like Ellen Stone and had all sorts of dreams about being a missionary in captivity. But she has promised not to go on the lecture platform. An old-fashioned man thinks it is the height of extravagance and must be a sign of affluence to smoke cigars, so he says when he sees a rich man smoking a pipe: “Why he is rich enough, he doesn’t have to smoke a pipe. He can smoke cigars.” If he is very rich, he says, he can afford to smoke nickle cigars. » * • Some boys about town played a good joke on a merchant the other evening. They slipped cautiously up to bis place of business and tied the door shut so he couldn’t get out. They laughed immoderately about it and had a good time. About an hour afterwards they found out that he had not been in the store at all, and then they were glad they had laughed first or they would hot have had a laugh about the joke at all. This is one of the jokes that would have been a good one if it had not miscarried. • ♦ *

A couple of neighbors had a quarrel about a trivial matter the other day, and they got very hot. They got so worked up that the aggressor told the other man he would have nothing more to do with him. And, said he, as a parting shot: "When I die, I want you to keep away from my funeral.” The other man replied: "There is nowhere I would rather go, but, of course, if you invite me to stay away I will do as you say.” » » Half a dozen customers were waiting to get shaved. Wnen one of the barbers said "Next!” the last man in rushed ahead and took the chair and nobody had the nerve to ‘stop him. Which shows that the way to get through the world rapidly is by having plenty of nerve. *** A girl who had been very clevpr at college came home the other day and said to her mother: "Mother, I’ve graduated, but now I wish to take up psychology, philology, bibli —” "Just wait a minute,” said the mother, "I have arranged for you a more thorough course in roastology, boil°l°gy, stitchology, darnology, patchology and general domesticology. Now, put on your apron and pick that hen. * * « Young man, there is one thing you cannot do. You cannot make a success in life unless you work. Better men than you have tried it and failed. You can’t loaf around street corners, saloons, tell fool stories, smoke, drink whiskey and sponge on some one else without making a complete failure in life. You must learn a trade or get into some honest business, if you doh’t you will be a chronic loafer, despised by all, producing nothing, simply making yourself a burden to your parents or the state. There is no place in the world for loafers.