Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 44, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 April 1902 — Our Man About Town. [ARTICLE]

Our Man About Town.

F Diacusse/* Sundry and Other | Matters.

We know a man who is starting out in this town and he will make a failure. How do we know it ? Simply because he talks too much. ••• A woman in this town who poses as an invalid gets mad every time anybody tells her she is looking well, and snaps out that she reckons they wouldn’t say so if they “had saw” her yesterday. We heard of a woman’s euchre club, the other day, consisting of twelve married women, and of the lot only one has any children, and they are talking of expelling her for breaking the rules. • *** You ask nine men out of ten how they are, and they will say, “O, nothing to complain about.” And yet everybody does complain. Did you ever see a man who did not complain if you talked with him long enough ? A woman in this town who would like to be a widow, told a neighbor that she did not expect to see her husband here very long, anymore. The man whom she told said, “0, my, your husband and I will go squirrel hunting many a time yet before he dies,” and since then she has not spoken to that man. %* A woman who liked to use big words whether she knew their exact shades of meaning or not, had defined to her the word ferment. She'was told that it meant “to work.” One day she had some callers and she said to them as she came in from out of doors, “I am very tired today. I have been fermenting in the yard all day.” And the callers fell off their chairs. • *

A woman in Remington who married an old man ‘‘to take care of him” is perhaps getting more than she bargained for. She goes to a fortune teller every few weeks and has her fortune told. She'has been told a dozen times now that she will be a widow inside of six months. She gladly pays the fortune teller fifty cents each time, just to hear the word “widow.” She likes the sound of it so well. « * • A barber in this town says he had the first luck of his life the other day. He bought a new pair of rubbers, and in a very short time another pair was left at the shop by some one who had forgotten them. And the luck came in from the fact that the rubbers fit him. He has fallen heir to a good many pairs of rubbers, but this is the first pair that ever were left that fit him. All he worries about now is that he had bought a pair before he found the strays. Here is a boy’s composition on “Injun Summer” as reported in a Georgia paper: ‘‘lnjun summer' ‘is the best season of all’ cept swimmin' time. The days are so still you kin hear dad swearing two miles off, as well as every lick ma hits him with the broomstick. The reason it Is called Injun summer is becos they aint no Injuns in it’cept them.dad sees when he comes home from the store with two gallons of apple hrandy, and says he reckons he knows who is boss of the household, an’ no woman on earth can rule him. Let us all be thankful for Injun summer an’ be good til after Christmas.” •% An old-time doctor is a thing of the past. The specialist has has taken his place entirely. If yotf have a sore throat your physician tells you you must see Dr. so and so, as he only makes a specialty of colds. We now have eye, ear, ankle, toe-nail, knee, spine, index finger, elbow, crazy bone and dimple specialists. When a man is sick in more than one place nowadays it costs a fortune before he gets through. Give me the old-fashioned practitioner who called a spade a spade and used good, ojd fashioned medicines. The present generation may be able to look at your insides by electricity, but what good does that do if you have to pay 20 times as much as when a dose of blue mass made you as bright as a dollar and as good as new ?