Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 39, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 March 1902 — Our Man About Town, [ARTICLE]

Our Man About Town,

> f Discusses ] Sundry \ and j Other | Matters.

Here’s a new one on David Harum. We heard a man say the other day that the best book he had read in a long time was “David Harriman.” A preacher’s little girl said the other day that the Holy Post fell on her. She was in a religions frame of mind and had in view the Holy Ghost, of which she had heard. She got the sound right, if not the words. The other day we heard a man use the good old fashioned gag, “Not much, Mary Ann.” When have you heard that before ? « * w A widow who had buried three husbands was being guyed by several old maid boarders. They were advising her about what they considered a good “catch,” but she told them she would give them a chance at this one, as she had taken three away from them, and that is enough for one woman. *.* An old man in this town, who is called a crank, was talking with a younger man, and when he ran out of argument, he simply said, “O, you don’t know much.” If he had not been a crank the young man would have been insulted, but a crank is allowed to say anything with impunity. *♦* A preacher in thia toW had bad luck one Sunday, recently. He was getting along with his sermon pretty well, he thought, for about forty minutes, but after that he seemed to run out of ideas that were strictly new and original. He hunted around a good deal and finally got on the right track, but time seemed to drag so. His watch seemed to get along even slower than his ideas. Finally, after the town clock struck and the people began to yawn, he concluded to draw his remarks to a close, even if only brought to a period. When he got through, he found that instead of thirty minutes, he had preached fiftythree minutes. His watch had stopped. His wife saw to it that he got his watch repaired before another Sunday. ® * * An exchange has struck a philo sophical streak and remarks: “Some people hang to their money as though they wished and expected to take it to heaven with them. They deny themselves of the comforts of life, neglect their education and stand as stumbling blocks to others. If they ever get to heaven it will be on the penurious line. They will be so thin in substance and worth as to go through a crack in the gate with great ease. It is moral and intellectual worth that fits a person for eternity. The brain was not given to be neglected or turned to miserism. It is safer to take a reasonable amount of money and time and lay it out in the improvement of one’s, self. A person may gain the love of a few by being rich, but at the same time he gains envy. But when he advances his knowledge and general worth he is doing the Lord’s will and increases his chance for eternal happiness at every step.” * * • One evening recently a party of men were sitting around the stove in Eger’s telling yarns and watching the antics of a pet kitten. The conversation turned on to the subject of Leap Year, when several old superstitions were told concerning the bissextile period. An old gentleman ( who had been sitting in the background and saying nothing made the statement that there are more girls born in Leap Year than during any year which is not bissextile. This caused considerable discussion as to the why and -wherefore, and several very queerireasons were offered, but none of them appeared to be cogent. At last some one asked the old gentleman if he knew the reason. He said he did and when asked to give it, said it was caused by there being one more day in Leap Year than in other years. The party broke up then and there and John turned out the lights. * In a meat market in this town, there were two partners who got along all friendly and amicably. One day about the time calendars were ripe, a

beautiful specimen was left at the shop, and one of the proprietors happened to be out. It was a big pasteboard calendar made In the form of a beautiful girl and was almost life sice. It was cut out of pasteboard and stood up shockingly in imitation of the real thing. For convenience, the proprietor who was present set the calendar into the refrigerator. When the absent member came in and happened to go into the meat room, he saw the imitation in a hazy light, and he came out blushing and was visibly rattled; He felt that it was not a wise move, yet he wished to avoid a scene, and after the customer had gone out, he suggested to his partner that pereaps it would be Just as well to be a bit more circumspect. The guilty partner went Into the refrigerator and invited his guest to meet bis partner. As she was somewhat reluctant about coming out, he took her by the arm and assisted her, and when he brought her out, the suspicious member of the firm fell over a meat block and stepped on a string of wiennie worst which yelped like a dachsund. He Is not done setting up the cigars yet.