Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 February 1902 — Our Man About Town. [ARTICLE]

Our Man About Town.

9 Discusses I Sundry i and 1 Other ■ Matters.

We heard of a man the other day who does not like almonds, and to make matters worse, he does not like peaches, neither. *•* Barbers in this town say as soon as grain goes down in price their business will fall off greatly. People will shave themselves. If we were learning a trade we would learn to be a dress maker. We know of a adress maker in this town 'Who is engaged for five months ahead. *.*

We draw the line on a clerk “resigning a four-doll ar a-week job. He may quit if he wants to, but we object to his “resignation.” If he expects to “resign,” he must get bigger wages. « *

A man said the other day that manager Ellis of our opera hoftse was talking seriously of bringing David “Hering” here to play soon. We wonder if he is any relation to old salt herring.

A young man in this town got a Christmas present from a girl one Christmas, and the next Christmas he gave it to another girl, which was a shrewd business move. He did not need the article, and the girl who got the present was as happy We If it had been an original gift, the didn’t know any better.

A man went into a law office and had a paper lie was required to sign. The lawyer told him where Jo sign it, and he rubbed his hands a bit and took the pen up awkwardly? but said, “By gosh, I am cold nna> carn’t hardly write. But I tell you when I am not too cold I can make as good a mark as anybody!” And he signed his name with a little cross. Which shows that it does not take much to make some people proud. V

A man in this town who likes to pretend that he is a great tobaccoflend but does not like to spend the money, will smoke a cigar without lighting it. It is what smokers call a “dry” smoke. he has rolled it around in his mouth a while and has got all the glory he can get out of a cheap cigar at one time, he takes it i ut of his mouth and carefully puts it in his pocket for use the next time he wants to look like a tobaoco fiend.

A very strict church member was at an entertainment wherein playing cards were used. The ace of clubs was the card that the crowd was shown. One very strict church member asked a little girl by the side of her if she knew what the card was. She said it looked like a three-leafed clover, only it was black. The litt’e girl informed her that it was the ace of clubs. “Oh, the one of clubs,” said the woman, and she was glad that she did not know the names of worldly, wicked cards.

A woman in Remington had gone to a neighbor’s to talk about some missionary matters. They were making arrangements to send a box of things to some foreign preacher who was very needy. They were discussing the box and the packing of the goods, and concluded it was a good thing for the Home Missionary Society to do, and the visitor so expressed herself. All at once she heard a voice pipe up, “You’re a h of a liar. She was much shocked, as it was not customary to call a woman a liar, especially if she belonged to a missionary society, and she did belong and was supposed to be in good standing. She ventured another suggestion, when the same voice piped up, “You’re a h of a liar.” Just as she was about to leave the house indigently, the lady remarked that she need not take offence as it was only the parrot, and she added, “But we did not train it. It was traned before we bought it, by a family who did not belong to the missionary society.” "•* Two young Rensselaer mon took their ladies to a box supper out in the country the other night. They expected to depart for home before

supper, so did not take boxes along. This was the first time the gentlemen had ever attended an affair of this kind and did not know that the purchaser of a box was expected to share the contents with the person who had prepared the box containing the supper. When the bidding commenced, the two young fellows concluded to each buy a box and use the contents for a lunch on the way home. So each bid in boxes and carried them in triumph back to their lady friends. But instead of smiles they were greeted with frowns and when told that they were expected to eat supper with the ones whose names were is the boxes they thought there must be some mistake but were soon convinced of their error. All they could do was to march forward and find the owners of the boxes and eat supper with them. While this operation was going on the two ladies who had accompanied the gentlemen from town sat in a rear seat and vowed vengeance on their luckless escorts. The ladies made the trip back home on empty stomachs and while their escorts were not bothered with the pangs of hunger they state that the atmosphere was as chilly as the blizzard of this week.