Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 33, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 January 1902 — A LITTLE NONSENSE. [ARTICLE]

A LITTLE NONSENSE.

Wat Couldn’t Do It and Gave Conclusive Reason For His Inability. Pat Murphy had been out of work for some time and was a few weeks In arrears with his payments to his landlady. Finding no other employment, Pat determined to enlist, consoling himself with the thought that the life of a sdtdier would not be worse than being in lodgings. All went well till Pat was in the ranks for drill, when the sergeant came up and called out, “Here, Murphy, throw out your chest.” “Sorry, sir, I can’t,” replied Pat. “Can’t! Why?” “Because my landlady has it, sir.” Not Necessarily. Mr. Upjohn—That young sneak of a Spoonamore is hanging around here again, llow many times have I told youMrs. Upjohn—John, just because a low, soft voice is an excellent thing in woman it doesn’t follow that a loud, harsh voice is an excellent thing in man.—Chicago Tribune. Their Unhappy Lot. Cottage Dweller—One of the joys of having a house of your own is buying coal and running a furnace. Flat Dweller—One of the joys of living in a flat is to have twelve pianos in the building start on different times just as you start a night’s sleep.—lndianapolis News, Profit in the Shin planter. Probably the greatest profit ever enjoyed by the government as a result of the destruction of money was in connection with the fractional currency or shlnplasters issued during the civil war. The total amount Issued was $308,724,079,. of which $0,880,538 has never been presented for redemption. A large amount has been preserved as curios by collectors and occasionally even uiw It Is offered for redemption.