Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 32, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 January 1902 — Our Man About Town. [ARTICLE]

Our Man About Town.

Discusses Sundry sad j Other f Matters.

A woman in this town has snob fine teeth that everybody wonder* how she keeps them so olean and white and nice. In reply to. an inquiry as to how she did it, she said she always keeps them in a glass of soft water over night. They are false. V When people say, “Call and see me,” they know that it is not sincere, and you never go. You always Bay, “Yes, I’ll call,” but you never call unless you are silly. , A baby who had been taught that Santa Clans would come only where children are good and wohld pass by where children were nnughty, got so interested in him that Sbe asked her mother the other day: “Say, mamma, is there a Mia. Santa Claus?” And the mother lied about that, too, just 1 ke she had been doing aboht the old man himself. Yet she was not a bad woman and is not so considered in the vicinity around about. A man went Into one of the drug stores the other day and bought five cents’ worth of drugs put up in five sepraate packages. He wanted a penny’s worth of sulphur and a penny’s worth of borax and a penny’s worth of alum and a penny’s worth of roßum and a penny’s worth of rbu* barb. That might not have been the idgredients, but that is the plan on which he bought his five cent’s worth of material. When the apothecaty bad it all wrapped up .ind tied up, he also wanted another penny’s worth of strychnine. The druggist said, “I will gladly make yon a present of a dime’s worth of strychnine if you’ll just swallow it. You may think the customer got mad, but he did hot. The druggist said this in the back end of the store where the man oould not hear him. V A woman in this town has discovered a plan to suppress children that is snrely unique and has probably never beeb heard of before. She says whan they pay no attention to anything yon say to them, often if you spring a new Word on them, a word that they never heard- it Will soothe them and make them behave for quite a while. We have seen children that we would like to spring a new word on. V ’ 'v* A woman went into the butcher shop one day last week and ordered three cents’ worth of liver. Sam misunderstood her, and asked, “Did,yon eay two cents’ worth?” “No, I said three cents’worth,” she replied, and said it in tones that meant, “If yon don’t Want my trade, I shall transfer it and give it to somebody who appreciates a good.thing-when he has it. V 7 A prominent lady gave a reception to the members of her chorieh a few days ago. It was a brilliant affair but when it was over the hostess discovered that nineteen Of her silver spoons had disappeared. They bad her name engraved on them too, but that seemed to cut flo figure with the souvenir collectors. And still money Is sent away to assist the missionaries in converting the heathens of other oountrieS. V Speaking of stealing among the women? there seems to bean epidemic Of “kleptomania” in Rensselaer. Not A store keeper escapes, and seme of the most prominent) women in town are among the gnilty ones. ' The milliners iebm to be the especial mark of the kiepto maniacs. Not a day passes but trimming for hats and other articles disappear from their counters, notwithstanding the utmost vigilence of the proprietors. Last fall one of the milliners had an opening and in the trimming of some of the pattern bate exhibited was a new kind of hucklei Some of these disappeared as Soon as they were pot on exhibition. About a week later a very prominent lady who had attended the opening walked Into the store with a box of trimmings Which she wished pdtonahal. Among the trimmings

was one of the stolen baokles. The milliner was so surprised at the nerve of her customer that she said nothing. Another store reports the loss of a flue skirt and many other oaseß might be mentioned, bnt one more will suffice to show the mania some women have for taking what does not belong to them. Soine time ago a jeweler exhibited his goods to a lady from another town who was . visiting her sister here. He sold her no goods, bat after her departure he missed a fine cut glass vase. Suspecting where it had gone, he went to the house where she was vlßiting and while conversing he noticed the vase on the piano, and with the remark that that was what he came for, he took It from the piano and bade them good day.