Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 27, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 December 1901 — Our Man About Town. [ARTICLE]

Our Man About Town.

• Discusses I Sundry \ and j Other Matters.

A Rensselaer olerk wears a gold ring on the middle finger of his left hand, and it looks very funny, indeed. Weexpeotany day, now, to seeisome men wearing earrings and bustles. **** A girl in this town who married a widower, said she preferred to be the man’s second wife because men always tnink more of their second wives. * * * We heard of a man the other day who said tobacco was what saved his life. The doctors had given him up. He tried everytning, but still he ran down in flesh. He had become a mere skeleton. As a last resort a doctor prescribed chewing tobacco, just plain, ordinary navy plug. He went to chg.yving, and today he weighs 240 pounds, and is as hearty as a buck. He also has tobacco all over his shirt bosom and in his whiskers and some people wonder if lie might not just übout as well have remained sick. *«* I j

When we get a letter'from Kentucky we always know what it is be fore opening it. It is an advertisement for a whisky house, and we have no use for it. Indiana whisky ought to be good enough for anybody. * * *

A little girl was saying the Lord’s prayer. When she got to the supplication, “Give us tnis day our daily bread,” she thought of a happy variation, and it suited her better. She had a very keen delight in doughnuts, so she repeated it “Give us this day our daily doughnuts ”. And who will say that is was not effective. Why not ask right out for what we want. Bread will do, b it d xtghtiuos are so m uch better. kl * «

Why wouldn't it be a good thing for the town dads to build troughs along the sidewalks to accommodate the hogs who spit tobacco juice on the sidewi.llc.-i for tho ladies to mop up witli their dresses. * * « A Front street girl recently went into Long’s drug store to purchaser bath sponge. The story goes that when Bert, the good looking clerk, pranced up suddenly to inquire her wants she became “rattled” and asked for a sponge bath. Bert immediately fainted and lias not yet recovered from tho shock. *** An old gambler says: “No business man or non-professional can indulge in gambling excitement and run his particular business or private affairs successfully very 1 mg. If he loses, which he invariably does in the long run, his capital is impaired. If he makes a big winning, the most fatal of all to an outsider, he becomes dissatisfied with the small or slow profit of his legitimate business, and he soon loses his trade by neglect or indifference, and in the end ruin and bankruptcy are the result.

A dashing young widow of Remington, with a gentleman friend, attended a rummage sale. She thought she would call for something the good church ladies didn’t have, and asked for a white owl. After some rustling around under a dark counter a clerk brought out one. The widow said she would take it, gave the clerk 35 cents and she and her friend went away, both blusning a red that nearly set fire to everything in the house. A girl clerk remarked, “I’ll bet she’ll never ask for another white owl.” The widow had never heard them called by that name before. * * * I know a man, and perhaps you know him, too, whose wife very much respects iilin because “he doesn’t care for liquor at all. Why, when he goes away he invariably tJUkes a small flask along in case of sickness, but lie ways oringa it home untouched.” If she saw him going and getting it filled just before he stepped into the house, she might come to the conclusion that her angelic husband is not so very particularly more angelic than some other male angels who are lying around loose. Fora first class job of horseshoeing call on O. Hansen, the black-smith.