Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 December 1901 — Our Man About Town, [ARTICLE]

Our Man About Town,

• Discusses j Sundry ! and J Other & Matters.

One Sunday night not very long ago a ohuroh choir was melodiously Hinging at servioes, and the bass, who l>ad not practiced with the rest of the ohoir, sang as well as the rest, for, being an old war horse and having been in the choir Binoe right after the flood, he felt perfectly at home and confident. Everything moved harmoniously, if not musioally til) a rest came. The entire ohoir sang “hallelujah I” and made a full stop for the rest, but the bass, who had not observed aB closely as he should, bellowed ns the dead silence reigned, “lujah I” And five members of the choir fell over in a dead fßint. But the congregation figured it out that they were mostly shamming in order t.; keep fVom laughing right out in meeting. * •

Last Sunday an employe o» one of the livery stables had occasion to drive a party out to the church dedication at Parr. Not beoanse he liked whiskey, but to avoid any bad results from cold, he slipped a bottle of good old rye Into his inside pocket. All the rest of the crowd were opposed to drink as a beverage. He would not hurt anyone’s feelings for the world, so he did not drink a drop going, and coming home there was no chanoe to touch It, either. So, what did he do but carry that bottle of whiskey all the way, both going and coming, and did not so mnch as get a smell. He was so mad when he got home that he smashed the bottle Into a thousand pieces. But not til) he had emptied It of its contents. # * *

A Fable: A woman In this town is amusing everybody by a case of the swell head. Hhe Is a very ordinary sort of woman and has not mnoh to be puffed up about In her mind, yet she is amusingly filled with Pride, while ber husband is full of Gold Victuals. She is so busy being proud that her husband eats Gold Meals most of the time. The neighbors think it would be better if she were not so full of pride and her husband were fuller of Good Oooking. “Fuller” is not a good word, but it suits this case better than the proper would. And so, while, the woman goes about being proudJMLnci fer, the rest of the town the deuce she has to be so stuck up about. Moral: Being a true story, this fable has no moral. * *

A woman in this city had a reception the other day, at which refreshments were served. She Berved some delightful Ice cream, and everybody ate and relished it much. A great many who ate of it were teetotalers and would not drink a'drop of strong liquor to save their lives. It transpired afterwards that the reason the ioe cream was so unusually good was because it had a “stiok” in it. And now a lot of the teetotalers are almost crazy, for they don’t know how to square themselves, for they are on record as saying that it was the best ioe cream they ever ate. V A woman who clerks In a china store said the other day that Job may have had patlenoe in a mild sort of way, but that he had never really been tried. He had never clerked in a china store. V Speaking of stuffing—why last Thursday first the turkey was stuffed with the stuffing, then the kid was stuffed with the stuffed turkey and the stuffing, then the doctor’s pocketbook was stuffed with bills on account of the stuffing that stuffed the turkey that stuffed the boy with the stuffilng and other stuff.