Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 23, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 November 1901 — Our Man About Town. [ARTICLE]

Our Man About Town.

f Discusses j Sundry ! and j Other & Matters.

One of the hotel keepers the other day said, when eggs are high, everybody eats eggs; but when they are cheap, nobody will touch them. # * • Women do snch funny things. The other day on the cars we saw one woman who was busy sewing, and another woman carried a piece of chamois skin and would wipe her face every little while to keep it cleanher face, we mean. * * * The other day a neighbor woman asked a girl, who was ill, how she got along through the night. She said, “I am better this morning, but I was worse last night than I have been erry night yit.” Now, do you know what “erry time yit” means? Is it curable, or is it hopeless ? * • * *«•

A stranger read nn advertisement of a Rensselaer woman in a matrimonial paper. She wanted a husband. He wrote her a few letters, and then came to see her. When she oame to the door in rehponse to his knock, he got a glimpse of her through the screen door. One look was enough for him. He turned on his heel, and made a bee line for the depot, and has not been seen s.nce. V Two Rensselaer married men met on Washington street, Saturday evening, and one bet the other that he could not doscribe the new dress his wife wore. “Bet your life I can.” “Go ahead then.” “Well it’s old rose cloth, supporting a bank surplus of (sls) flounces garnered at the front; hAs an odd bolero, orientally ornamented, tastifully ac companied by jet black Brandenbergs, delicately forming poems of reverse on a rainbow field; sleeves with overturned cuffletts, closely followed with white mousseline de sole. Hurrah for America 1 There she is,’' said the dcscriber, as he gasped for breath, and asked for ice water. The other burned home, where he expected to be overcome with a spasm. * ■» * One of the teachers in the public schools was explaining the other day what a beneficent thing a republic is, and she also explained the different kinds of governments When she had sufficiently cleared up the mysteries ot the various kinds of government, and when site felt that she bad done a good day’s work b> making it clear to the bojs.and when she had expatiated on the beauties of a iree government and told the class how much more intelligent those are who live in a republic, she asked them to tell her what a republic is. One boy shot up his hand with alacrity, /or he was eager to gratify his teacher, lie was a good boy—when he slept—and always liked to make his teacner happy. She said, “well, what is a republic?” “Why, it is a man who votes only for republicans.” And she gave him a “head mark” with a nice stuffed club. V

My boy, maybe you smoke. Perhaps your inclinations are towards cigarettes. Stop one minute and think. Look over all the leading bnsiness and professional men in Rensselaer. You will find some who like a pipe, others who enjoy a cigar. Not one of them smokes cigarettes. If they did they wouldn't be in business. People wouldn’t deal with them. They don’t hire clerks who use cigarette, nor employ bookkeepers who do. The lads who smoke them doesn’t hold the good jobs, because the smell of the cigarette on the fingers and clothes is sufficient to “queer” them at the very start. Ic’s not a healthy thing for a growing boy to use tobacco, but all of us do more or less. Ever since Sir Walter Raliegh threw up his boots experimenting on the weed several centuries ago, the average lad has followed in his footsteps. Suck a bowl off a pipe, or plug a cigar in one oorner of your mouth, but for your own sake let cigarettes alone. It handicaps every young man. Only two things are worse, and they are drink and gambling. / Subscribe for the JOURNAL.