Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 October 1901 — HE AND SHE, [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

HE AND SHE,

By GEOEGE H. HEPWORTH.

[Copyright, 1899, by George H. Hepworth.J [CONTINUED.) 'mat Ralph’s endeavors to educate his wife met with indifferent success will be inferred from the foregoing historic Incidents. The will of a man Is like a bludgeon. That of a woman Is like a sciniiter with a razor edge. There Is an old legend that on a certain occasion in the far east a renowned warrior cut his enemy In two, hut the poor fellow didn’t know It, so skillfully was the font performed, until he attempted to mo,c. whereupon bis trunk toppled over and fell to the ground. lie had scarcely Colt the blow and, to use a Hibernlanism, was infinitely chagrined and mortified to fiud himself dead. The sciinlter Is woman’s weapon. In a wrestling match she counts for nothing, but in the contest of tact and strategy It would Indicate gross ignorance of human nature to lay a wager ou the man. Dora was petite, a blond of the most pronounced type, with hair that seemed full of sunshine, while Ralph was an athlete, with an upper arm that would have driven a sculptor W’ild nud a chest of such magnificent proportions that you lost yourself in admiration.

Ves. it was a case of giant and fairy. The magic wand did the business. It nfk only made the giant obedient, but gave him the delightful Impression that he was having his own way. Once in awhile, to be sure, he had a taint suspicion that he didn’t enjoy the houudiess freedom of action which characterized his bachelorhood, but when he looked at Dora, so gentle and yielding, so tractable and demure, be came to the conclusion that there must be some mistake about it and that he was really her liege lord, with none to dispute his perfect sway. There was one matter on which he resolved (before marriage) not to yield an inch. He would build a fortress, retire to his innermost stronghold and fight It out, If it took a lifetime, rather than surrender. Dinner parties and evening receptions were the bane, the agony, the hobgoblins, of his life. He was wearied to death of them, hated them with unspeakable loathing, and had determined that all that nonsense should end. He would have no more of it forever. It should be heresy to mention anything of the kind in his presence, and he would devise some nameless punishment to fit the crime. “1 think,” he said one day, “that they are the flattest affairs that can he conceived of, for they always make one feel like a blooming idiot.” And, to his great gratification, Dora agreed with him. “Why.” he said, "people talk about nothing but the weather or the latest bit of scandal in high life.” Dora sighed, as though such frlvolltlei had no attractions whatever, and nodded her head in graceful and wifely assent. “There!” remarked Ralph to himself. “That’s settled. You see how quickly a true wife conforms witlYSher husband s opinion. One has only to begin right, just as I have always said, to get along very smoothly. We shall never have any wrangles on that point.” He gazed at the stars and whistled “Hail to the Chief.” He came home a week later to find Dora busy with the dressmaker inventing a new costume. Gasping for breath, he grew red in the face and was about to make use of two or three explosive phrases when tie noticed that his wife was not entirely happy. There was a troubled look iu her face which at once excited his sympathy. "Why, what's the matter. Dora?” he asked.

She did not reply at once, but proceeded languidly to lay the costume over the bnck of the chair. “Aren't you well. Dora?” And he became almost alarmed. “Oh. yes!” And she patted hts cheek so caressingly and yet so pathetically that he held her at arm’s length and looked her afl over. There was certainly something radically wrong. “What does it all mean?” he said—that troubled look, that dress, this confusion? What has happened?” “Nothing, Ralph, only we have an Invitation to the Van Grlpps’. They are to give one of those swell receptions, and. to tell the truth, I can’t see any way out of it. Perhaps you can, dear.” “Well, if that’s all.” replied Ralph bluntly, "we will settle the matter in a jiffy. I’d a thousand times rather stay quietly at home with you. Receptions are beastly affairs at best. One never has a good time. The air is used over and over agnln until It isn’t fit to breathe, and you get squeezed all out of shape and coine bomb swearing at yourself for a blockhead.” “U hat a dear, good fellow you are, Ralph.” she responded, and her delicate Angers crept over his cheeks and forehead and hair. “We might as , well,” he continued, “take our stand right now and once for all These jams are all very well for young people who are on the still hunt for a marriage certlAcate and a fortune nnd for a lot of old men and women who are tired of each other and want some excitement with a new taste to it. but for people like you and me. who have taken the important step and are content in each other’s society, there isn't anything in the world half as hollow or half as stupid.” He exhibited real feeling and was profoundly in earnest. Evidently he was giving a breath of fresh ulr some of his innermost convictions, and there was a certain set expression nbout his lips which seemed to say that no yoke of oxen could drag him to that miserable reception). “What would you do, Ralph?” And there was a pleading tone in her voice, as though she had been suddenly shipwrecked and was depending solely on

him to get her sarely ashore. “Do, my dear? Why, send your regrets, of course. They won’t miss us lu the crowd, and we’ll have a cozy evening right here.” “Yes. Ralph, I would have done that at once, you know, but”— She hesitated as though she were on the edge of a great personal sacrifice or as though she were a martyr re solved to die for her principles. “But what?” he asked. “Why, Ralph. Mrs. Van Grlpps called on me this morning. I told her I didn’t quite know your mind In the matter; that I always left our social engagements, as well as everything else, for you to arrange; that 1 had about given up parties and other frivolities and proposed to find my happiness iu my husband's company.” What a look of admiration Ralph gave his wife! “That's a woman. Indeed,” he said to himself “There isn’t another like her in lhe world. She is the only one of the kind, and. by Jove, she Is mine!” “Well.” continued Dora, “she was perfectly dumfounded and said she had reckoned surely on us as old friends or she wouldn’t have had the reception. ‘What Is a party or a dinner or any other gathering,’ she cried, •without your Ralph? Ah. lucky giri that you are, Dora, to have such a hero!’ And she went on so that I became almost jealous, dear.” “Gammon and humbug! That woman Is a hypocrite or a fool. I’ll see her *od make short work of all that nonsense.” Was Ralph really Indignant, and, if so, what was the meaning of that expression, such as follows on the heels of flattery, which settled cozily around the corners of his mouth? “I suppose," remarked Dora, “if I have a hero for a husband. I have no nght to deprive society of the privilege of seeing hitn once in awhile. To throw a veil over a bright particular star might he accounted little short of a crime. If I am proud of you, as you know only too well I am, there is no reason why I shouldn’t allow others a glimpse of you now and then—not often, Ralph, for I am covetous, but once in awhile. 1 think Mrs. Van Grlpps was very Just in her criticism, and 1 determined that It was perhaps a duty I owed you to accept her Invitation. So I sent for the dressmaker and will try to look passably well, dear, for your sake.” They attended the reception, and If you had seen Dorn, surrounded by a score of admirers, you would have received the impression that she was enjoying “herself immensely: thnt. she

w “ s as ,n ucn in her element as a nsn is in the water or a bird is In the air Whatever feeling of repugnance she had to receptions was so deftly suppressed that uot a suspicion of It appeared either in her manner or her conversation. Women are natural actors, and when they make such a sacrifice as that for their husbands’ snkes they are skillful enough to cause one to believe that they are supremely happy. Poor Ralph seemed like a plant trained to the wall. He was uncomfortable and even miserable, for he was forced to chat half an hour with a withered flower. Miss Black, and to escort a garrulous old matron to the supper room. Still, he looked at his radiant wife with inexpressible pride and muttered to himself: “She doesn’t enjoy this a bit, but she’s doing It for my sake. I’m a mighty Iticky fellow." That winter was notable gorgeous balls and receptions, and Ralph and Dora attended them all. The sense of obligation which had forced her to yield her personal preference to her wifely duty In the first instance seemed to keep possession of her, and in the spring she looked pale and haggard. Indeed, she was so completely run down by her continual sacrifices in Ralph s behalf that when the summer came he took apartments at a fashionable watering place, where they spent a couple of months in the endeavor to recuperate. When Jack returned from Europe, where he had spent 18 months, one of his first calls was on Ralph, and while the two sat in the billiard room, smoking and indulging in reminiscence. Jack plumped out the question: “Well, Ralph, you are fairly launch ed on the sea of matrimony, old boy, and how goes itV” “Just as 1 expected it to,” answered Ralph. Your theories have been successfully applied V” “Yes, and they work to a charm.” "You have educated your wife in your peculiar ways?”

“Yes, and/we’ve got on admirably. I was right, Jack. I knew I was, at the start. One needn’t make a mistake in a matter of that kind unless he is stupid or under a glamour. All you have to do is to assert your authority at once, and after that there is no trouble whatever. A man should be master in his own household. That’s what 1 am and what 1 always intend to be. Why, you’d be surprised at the sacrifices which Dora willingly makes and takes pleasure In making. I have my own way in everything.” Jack nodded, but somehow there was a lurking suspicion in his eyes. The story he had heard at the club didn’t tally with Ralph’s In some rat]ier important particulars, but he said nothing. “You see,” continued Ralph, “married life depends largely on tact and a careful use of a li|tle diplomacy. Nqw, Dora reflects my feelings and ideas as truly as a mirror, and that very desirable result has been brought about by my strategy.” “Is it'a secret, Ralph?” “No, not at all. I am quite willing to tell you all about it. and if you will follow my example you will have peace of mind all your life.” “That is very Important, Ralph. What policy have you pursued to accomplish such a miracle?” “My secret is simply this. Jack: You can always have your own way in your own home, provided—and that’s where the strategy comes in—provided you manage matters so deftly that your wife thinks It Is her way and not yours. See? I’ve done that for a year and a half and have got the coziest and happiest household on the planet. There is nothing easier than to rnhnage a woman, but you must go the right way about it.” Jack went home with a boundless admiration—for Dora.

"What does It all mean?" he said.