Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 October 1901 — Our Man About Town, [ARTICLE]

Our Man About Town,

Discusses Sundry and Other Matters.

Rensselaer has a number of young girls who do nothing but write letters. Their mothers do the family washing. * * • It is claimed that a Remington man is so infernally stingy that he per fumes every Cent of hia money in order to add anothor scent to it. * * *■ Some men will spend 50 cents to a dollar each week for booze, and then kick like the devil, because their wives wants a new union suit each fall. *** The woman who insists you must eat your pie with a fork, is often the woman whose pie crust couldn’t be cutor broken with a butcher’s cleaver. • * •» * Some people are always talking about what an awful thing it is to be buried alive; but- then its justas awful a thing to be buried dead if you stop to think about it that way. -.r itNot long ago when a family moved away from here, the little girl of the household' offered up a supplication as follows, the night before departure: “Good bye, God; we’re going to move to Monou tomorrow. K * * Being unable to fulfill an engagement at a certain town, a lecturer wired “Impossible to come tonight, give the audience hack their n.oney.” He received hack the following reply: “We have given the audience back his money, and he has gone home perfectly satisfied.” * * * The other day a tramp was given a meal in exchange for a promise to saw wood to pay for it. “WherSkre you going?” asked the housewife as the tramp started to move off without performing his task. “You promised to saw that wood for me.” “I regret that there has been a misnnderstaning, madam, but I saw that wood as 1 entered the gate,” replied the tramp, and he moved on. * # It is related that recently a good Methodist and a good Baptist clergyman got to talking with each other at a church social. “I dreamed that I was in Heaven and saw no Baptists there, ‘remarked’ the Methodist. “I inquired where they all were and was told that they hadn’t arrived yet but were coming by water.” “I dreamed that I was in Heaven,” replied the Baptist, “and saw no Methodists there. Upon inquiry I was told that they were all outside the wail on six months probation.” * * * Uncle Jimmy McEwen, the “cow puncher,” has a mystery at his house. Last spring one of his old hens stole a nest in the barn and wenr, to setting. Four weeks later, when the job of hatching was concluded, there were two young turkeys in the nest. How the eggs came there was a mystery to Jimmy, as there had been no turkej-s in the neighborhood since last winter, when George Strickfaden had a couple, but it is hardly likely that an egg laid in the winter months would hatch some months later, after being exposed to zero weather. Be that as it may, the mystery has not been solved and Uncle Jimmy still has the turkeys, which have grown to a good size, and will be large enough to furnish a good Christmas dinner. Bro. McEwen should invite Bro. Babcock to be present and enjoy the feast.