Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 16, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 September 1901 — Our Man About Town, [ARTICLE]

Our Man About Town,

Discusses * Sundry and Other Matters.

There is a man in this town who has a good education, yet he can’t sign his name without sticking his tongue out. A woman in this town is so afraid of microbes that she will not sitdowrn on a chair unless assured that it has been thoroughly washed with soap suds. * * * We “know a little, scrub town where the cows eat the fartners’ hay out of their wagon beds, and where folks get up early to feed the pigs before the chickens are awake, where the only barber shop in town is called the Metropolitan. %* A kid was saying cute things to a friend of the family the other day, when his father called him down by saying, “Why, darling, what put that in your head?” When everybody present knew as well as he did that he had prompted the boy. V A wee girl In this town, who saw all the rest of the family thke up books and become engaged in reading, suddenly burst out violently crying, and Anally between sobs it was learned that the reason she cried was because all the rest were readihg, when they knew she couldn’t read a word. %*

Several years ago Elmer Stites living near Churubusco hung his vest on a barnyard Mnce; a calf chewed up the pocket and swallowed a gold watch, Last week the animal was butchered for beef and the timepiece was found in such a position between the lungs of the cow that the process of respiration—the closing in and Ailing of the lungs—kept the stem wound up and the watch had lost but four minutes and two ticks in seven years. /. One of onr neighbors has invented a new fangled mouse trap- She caught a mouse the other day in her veil, which was Bhut up in a dresser drawer. The mouse may have tried it on and Anding the color unsuited to its complexion, ate it full of holes and got caught in the veil’s meshes. A pair of gloves In the drawer were tried on by Mlbs Mouse and being a little too big, they were chewed lip. The mouse was caught and killed, but a new way will have to be found. The price is too high. * * « A local judge of beauty claims that the fashionable young woman of the present has the most beautiful gait that has ever been devised. “Of course, you know the walk I mean ?” he said “Chin in, chest out, stomach in and the shoulders not thrown back, which is hideous, but drooped fowajrd which is the helgth of graces. Women with this walk invariably wear heavy, shapely little shoes and black silk stockings, and they hold their skirts at a slight elevation and with the folds drawn forward, so that the Agure is draped closely. They also wear stays that are but little more than gridles. Hence their appearance is natural; they are not exaggerated or deformed in any way by fashion. Fashion, indeed, requires women now to be perfectly healthy, and as a consequence they have never—since Eve’s time—been so be; utifnl as they are to day.”