Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 16, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 September 1901 — Page 4

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The Rensselaer Journal Published Every Thursday by LESLIE CLARK. SUBSCRIPTION RATES. One Copy One Year 11.00 One Copy Six Months SO One Copy Three Months 26 Entered at the post office at Rensselaer lud.. as second class mail matter.

Do you realize that three of the seven presidents elected since 1861 have been assassinated. What country presents a worse record. The steel strike is settled; it ought never to have begun, and would not have been had it not been for President Shaffer’s overweening ambition. There is no doubt that the surgeon* did their best and were honestly deceived in regard to the condition of the President. This is only one more demonstration that the practice of medicine is largely guess work. We have tried kindness to all as a cure for social ills, and the result has been that three of our Presidents have been murdered. Now suppose we try a little harshness—not forgetting that too much is even worse that two'little. It is rumored that T. J. McCoy will be a candidate for the republican nomination for treasurer of state next year. Mr. McCoy’s extensive acquaintance throughout the state will make him a strong candidate if he decided to make the race. Only the corporal part of William McKinley departed w’th his funeral cortege: the spirit of his administration, his exalted standard of personal character and sense of public responsibility, remain to aid Lis successor in his high task of government. McKinley died at the summit o! his fame. His administration had brought the country to the highest point in every respect that it had ever attained—a point so high that few people even now realize how high it is. In a public sense, life had nothing more to offer him. * President McKinley carried the country a long ways towards the abandonment of sectionalism, but possibly President Roosevelt will earrry it still further. His mother was a died-in-the-wool southern woman, making him more of a southern President than any since the war. The republicans of Indiana are typical Americans, and believe in helping those who help themselves. If the republicans at Indianapolis expect to ask those Of the stale to give them their share of state offices, in the future they must lay aside their small personal differences and go to Work to elect Mr. Bookwalter, when conditions are nomin illy in their favor. A failure to do this will bear fruit when next they assert their claims. ‘-By their fruits ye shall know them.” The republicans of Indianapolis must do their duty this fall. They have the support and aid of the representative papers and the better element, and if they fail, it will be only through indifference or more culpable reasons. The state at large expects you to redeem yourselves for your past sins.

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HE AND SHE.

By GEORGE H. HEPWORTH.

[Copyright, 1999. by George H. HepwortlLJ l. The locality In which the following Instructive and Interesting conversation- took place Is matter of slender consequence. Perhaps the window at which the two gentlemen sat, each burning the foiled leaf anil puffing the snoke In fantastic clouds, looked out ou the oeekn, which the moon. In the fullness of Its beauty aud the beauty of Its fullness, made radiant with silvery light, while the whiteeaps of the Incoming rollers chased each other In mad glee up the beach. Or. perhaps again, it was part and parcel of a summer resort from which could he seen mountains and bills, the first like tall grenadiers standing sentinel as the stars came out aud the last like the rank apd file of an army In Its bivouac. But I prefer to be historically correct aud am therefore forced to say that the lueldeuts of my little story cannot rightfully conjure up either ocean or hillside. This open window was simply a clubhouse window, which afforded no wider view than the narrow street, though overhead a patch of threatening sky was visible, and there was nothing in sight except the persistent drizzle which changed the dust Into pgsty mud. a few men hurrying by who had trusted the report of fair weather In the morning papers and left their umbrellas at home and half a score of women whose skirts were bedraggled. The hebuttoned guardian at the door would greet us with the gruff voice of brief and insolent authority If he could see us as we enter, hut every story writer has the cup which renders him Invisible, and we can wander about as vve like without asking permission. Sit here by my side for a little and listen, for these two men are discussing a subject which has taken the first rank ever since the flowers In Eden withered. “Isn’t it a little late in life for you to marry, Ralph?"

“ ‘Better late than never’ Is the rule, my boy,” was the reply. "Yes, but there are some things which ought to be done In the morning, and If you dally aud hesitate until 5 In the afternoon you may as well not do them at all.” "Do you mean that a man at 48 resembles 5 o’clock In the afternoon. Jack? You seem to regard me as an antique.” "In comparison with Dora, who has Just tossed off her twentieth birthday Into the past, yes. Five o’clock In the afternoon and 10 o’clock in the morning can’t understand each other and are bound not to get on. The thing Is Incongruous.” ”1 like Incongruous things, Jack. Why not get out of the ruts In matrimony as well as other matters? It’s all a lottery anyway, and It’s Just as possible to draw a prize at 46 as at 25. The fact is, I’ve got a theory. It has been lying among the rubbish In my mental attic for a good many years, and I’m going to take it out and give It an airing.” “A theory, eh? You? I must say that Is rather Interesting—a sort of hobbyhorse, and you propose to mount and enter the race. Good luck to you, itaipn, but accidents will happen, ana I guess you’d better leave a ‘No Flowers’ notice behind.” ‘‘Yes, Jack; I’m going Into this thing deliberately and according to a little plan of my own.” “Oh, 1 see. You are to get married on architectural principles. You make your drawing aud build your wife accordingly.” “Precisely. No romance and folderol, but a lot of common sense. I have my Idea of what marriage ought to be and shall work along those lines. By and by you may pay us a visit, and if you don’t say I have a model home I’m greatly mistaken.” “Would It be proper to ask you to divulge your secret of human happiness, Ralph, or have you had It patented, with all lights reserved?” “Entirely willing to tell you all, Jack. Just light a fresh cigar aud lend me your ears for ten minutes. There! Are you ready?”

“Both ready and anxious, my dear fellotv. Most potent, grave and reverend magician, wave your wand and proceed.” “My first proposition,” said Ralph, “is that man is the dominant animal In creation.” “Is? Really is or only should be?” “Is so by virtue of Ills superior Intellect and physique.” “You mean that he can outthlnk a woman and In case of any resistance on her part can bring his biceps into play and knock her down? Is that your platform?” “He is ordained by nature to be the head of the family. The woman is a sort of advisory committee, but he has the veto power, and, if he knows his duty, will use It, tenderly, of course, but at the same time firmly. There can be but one master In a household, and it is always the husband, provided he Isn’t an idiot.” “Humph! You are a poor, misguided mortal, Ralph. You have a delusion, and when you come to apply that theory I don’t want to be there, for I should be drowned in tears of pity.” “Don’t waste your sympathy, Jack. I know what I’m about.” “The man Is master!’’ soliloquized Jack. y‘He has the veto power! His wife does as he tells her to!” His thoughts wandered ofT to his home, and memory was so unsuccessful In the attempt to corroborate the statements of Ralph that he shook his head rather mournfully, and something like a sigh escaped him. “Oh, I know well enough that It Is not generally so,” resumed Ralph. “I’m 1 a little nearsighted, but I can see a

thing dr two nevertheless. Thu majority of households are ruled by a queen, not by A king. That is plain enough. But It Is a topsy turvy condition of affairs, and In my own case 1 Intend to rectify the mistake.” “May the Lord have mercy on you!’* responded Jgck solemnly. “Just look at me. Jack.” “All right, Ralph. From my point of view, you seem like a man about six feet two in his stockings.” “And I weigh?" “Hum! I should say you might turn the scales at two twenty. How Is that for a guess?” “You are within five pounds. Now, then, would you take me for a fellow who could be Twirled by any living woman?” “Not if you knew It. Ralph, but the odd part of It Is that you will probably do nothing else but twirl aud still boldly assert that you are next door to a tyrant.” Jack took a half dollar between his thumb and forefinger and sent It spinning. "She will do It as easily as I do that,” he Insisted. “Pshaw! Nothing of the kind. You are a long way out, my dear fellow.” “All the best women In the world are adepts In hypnotism, and I see no reason why you shouldn’t fall under the general spell.” Ralph shook his bead and was Inclined to he Indignant. “Did you ever see that submarine torpedo which has had two or three successful trials?” asked Jack. “What has that to do with matrimony?” sneered Ralph. “More than you think. The torpedo is lauhehed, and so Is the man when the marriage certificate has been properly signed and witnessed. The torpedo' undoubtedly thinks it is having its own sweet way as it darts through the water and heads for a vessel lying at anchor, but If you will carefully notice you will discover two electric wires attached to It and reaching to the shore where the battery has been placed. These wires are filled with the driving power, and the man who Is on shore can turn the torpedo this way and that Just moving his finger. He can send It ahead at a terrific pace or slacken its speed, according to his whim and judgment.” “Well, what of it?” “Oh, nothing, except that the torpedo Is the man who stands six feet two, and the light electric wires which would do for a spider's web, but decide the whole matter, are the wife.” “Look here. Jack. What you say is all well enough, under ordinary conditions, for aught I know. Perhaps It Is; perhaps It Isn’t. I don’t pretend to decide. But my circumstances are peculiar, and I have the affair In my own hands.” "Oh, Indeed!” And a puff of smoke carried a doubt to the ceiling. “Yes, I think I may modestly lay claim to a certain degree of shrewdness. You see, my dear boy, I’m not going to marry a widow of my own age, who would bring all her former experience to bear on me—the strategy with whlqh she overcame No. I—but a

“She will do it as easily as Ido that."

young girl, fresh in her Innocence, with no knowledge of the world, her Ideas of life yet to be formed, and, mind you. Jack, to be formed under my Immediate supervision. I am going to be the sturdy oak, you know, and she Is to be the clinging vine.” Jack chuckled. “Great Scott, Ralph,” he said, “you have a very dramatic future before you! Your theory is charming', exquisite, entrancing, a sort of Lake of Como affair, but”— “No huts about it in this case,” responded Ralph, with that self centered assurance which the untrammeled bachelor acquires. “I’m going to educate my wife into my way of thinking. She is to be my second self, a reflection of my thoughts and feelings. You see, my habits are formed. Hers are not. I am hardened, and she will be plastic and take any shape I choose. I shall let her know, In the most delicate way, at the very beginning, that I am master, that things must go in my way, and. my word for It, I shall have a household that will be the envy of my friends.” “All right, Ralph,” said Jack aB he rose to go. “The Kranco-Prusslan war was a mere bagatelle to the struggle you have engaged In. You have undertaken a contract which will end by muklng a pile of kindling wood of you. By the way, when are you going to be married?” “On the lfith.” “Sorry, my dear boy, but I sail on the 14th and shall not be able to assist at tiie ceremony. However, I wish you good luck and plenty of it. You needn’t give my condolences to Dora In view of her prospective subjugation. for I rather think she doesn’t need them. Poor Ralph!” There was a depth of mock solemnity in his voice. “You are going to have a revelation. You know a good deal, but you don’t know a woman of mettle.

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However, all necessary information will come In due time. Good night” 11. Dora was grafted-upon the family tree of which Ralph had some reason to he proud with all possible pomp and ceremony. The affair was the talk of the town, and the three leading newspapers vied with each other In the Important matters of woodcuts and details. Ralph had stoutly Insisted on having a quiet wedding. lie thought It better form to be married In traveling costume aud to avoid pflbllclty. They could luvlte a few of their closest friends to a breakfast uud then take the train for the west. This custom of turning the social world upside down Just because a couple of Its members are to lie married was very distasteful to Idm. He found It difficult to-express the depth and height of his repugnance, but one could see in his bearing and In certain heavy shadows that gathered about his brow that he was opposed to It In every fiber of his being. He had seen the folly of It so many times that lie proposed to steer clear of Its horrors in his own case. But Dora evidently wanted to see its follies, too, and didn’t Intend to allow Ralph to hnve all this valuable Information to himself. If he was so awfully learned In these matters, there was no reason why she shouldn’t acquire equal knowledge by means of personal experience. As for a church wedding—why, It was the only proper Introduction to the society of married people. A girl’s wedding ought to be an arch as tall as the clouds, something so conspicuous that she could look hack and see Its glorious proportions until she got to the very horizon of life. If she had been two or three times a widow and the ceremony had become stale through monotonous repetition, that would be one thing. Or If her father had committed some crime, or her cousin german had been hanged for murder, and there was good reason for entering married life on the sly, she would be the last to make objection. But as affairs stood she wasn’t ashamed of Ralph, and she rather Imagined that he wasn’t ashamed of her. All this Is what she said to her mother, and If she closed her pretty Ups rather tightly we will not speak of that to Ralph. There were some things “’twere better not to mention,” and where Ignorance Is bliss enlightenment Is a curse. But the old lady and the maiden of 20 sat up very late one night spinning the web In which to catch Ralph’s approval. “Why, mother, I shouldn’t feel half married If I went to the minister’s with a railroad ticket in my pocket. It Is preposterous. You don’t believe In It any more than I do, dear, do you?" The good lady assured her daughter that she had jier entire sympathy, but thought It well to remind her that Ralph had a will of his own and It wouldn’t do to oppose him too bluntly. "Oppose him, dear?” replied Dora. “I never thought pf such a thing. He is very wise and very kind and knows a good deal more than I do. Oh, no; I shall not oppose him, but”— “Ah, yes! But what, Dora? That’s just what’s the trouble.” “But I’m going to be married in church all the same, and there will be plenty of bridesmaids and the most gorgeous time you ever heard of.” The mother looked at her offspring, and there were two Interrogation points distinctly visible In her eyes. “Well, I think Ralph will make the suggestion himself In a day or two, mother. It will come from him as a happy thought of bis own, an original

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meifc yt)ti koow, tor me stfke of ari vifitj me pleasure.” What legerdemain Dora practiced is not known, or what spell she threw over Ralph, but it was only a week later that he said: “Look here, Dora. I doh’t believe a man has any right to air his authority over a woman until the two are made one. If you have set your heart on a church wedding, why, that's all right." “Oh, no, Ralph:” was the reply of the arch conspirator, and she made a graceful gesture of deprecation. “I have old fashioned ideas about a woman’s duty to the man who marries her and wouldn’t interfere with your “'"ns for the world.” “Yes, yes; 1 understand all that, and I honor you for your common sense, but every girl thinks a good deal of her wedding day.” And well she might If she has my rare luck in a husband," broke in Dora. So 1 think, on the whole, we had better mark the event in some special ay» and a fashionable church wedding will be something to remember.” “Ralph, dear, I don’t want you to do this for my sake.” said Dora, with a deal of pathos. **lt is my duty to yield to your wishes, not yours to yield to mine.” “Oh, of course I understand all that” “And I have been measured for my traveling costume.” “Well, keep the costume. It will come in handy later on.” “Do you really object to a private wedding, Ralph?” “Unless you insist upon it, yes.” “And you think a church wedding would be preferable?” “By all means.” “Then of course I shall obey.” So they were married in church. Ralph had planned to go to St. Louis for a part of the honeymoon. There was 'a double advantage in this, for he could combine business with pleasure, and certainly business ought to be attended to even when one is looking into the eyes of the woman he loves. “You see,” he said, “Smith & Co. are in some perplexity, and as they owe us a large sum I should like a chance to look Into their books.”

“Quebec,” responded Dora in a sort of soliloquy, “must be a quaint old place, full of old corners and crevices, they tell me. What a romantic spot to talk over our future in, Ralph! Have you ever been there, dear?” “Bless you, yes, three or four times. It is as dull as stangant water. You’d die of ennui in 24 hours. Now, St. Louis, on the other hand”— “And the falls of Montmorenci—why, Laura told me she never saw such a beautiful body of water.” “Body of water, Dora? Well, it may be so, but the last time I saw them I bad to give a man a dollar to raise the sluice gate so we could have any fall at all. But In St. Louis, my dear”— “What a charming guide you make as we wander about In that quaint old place, you blessed, magnificent fellow! I can’t conceive of anything more delightful. Instead of a crusty, dried up mummy to point out all the curiosities of the place and drone his explanations of this and that, I shall look into the eyes of the dearest man in the world, and we will make our wedding Journey the most exquisite thing ever heard of.” And she clapped her hands in delight and sent a ringing laugh through the corridors of Ralph’s soul which sounded like a strain of soft music. “I thought,” he mildly suggested, “that you would find a good many attractions in St. Louis.” “In Quebec, you mean, dear. So I should. If the half that has been told is true, what a gorgeous time we shall have!” “All right, then,” he answered, with Something like a sigh. “If you prefer Quebec, why, of course”— "Prefer it? Not I, Ralph. I wish to consult your pleasure alone. Wherever you wish to go, there I shall be glad to go.” “Then suppose we try the experi-, ment and go to St.”— “To Quebec? Of course. If that is your decision, Ralph, dear, I have no objections to make. One place is the same as another to me, for, after all, I shall only see your face, and the rest of it will count for nothing.” “Is It Quebec, then?” “That is for you to say.” “Well, we’ll decide on that If you wish.” “Certainly, If you think best. I like to leave all such matters to my husband.” So they went to Quebec, and Ralph wondered why he had chosen to make that trip rather than the other. He hasn’t solved the puzzle yet, and if you were to ask him about it he would declare on his honor that Dora raised several objections and only yielded at last because he insisted that It would not be proper to mingle business with pleasure during the first days of his married life. Then she gave in, as every good wife ought to do, to her husband and as a particular favor to him. He contemplated with some satisfaction the fact that he had begun his new career by an assertion of authority and that his wife had surrendered to his wishes after a short but futile struggle. “There is nothing like being right nt the start,” he said. “After that yjiur mastership is regarded as a matter of course. In every household there should be an enthroned will, and it ought to be the exclusive prerogative of the man to say what must and tvhat must notebe done ” ' k Ito bk continued.]

No Need to Waste a Good Thing

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