Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 August 1901 — Our Man About Town. [ARTICLE]

Our Man About Town.

* Discusses I Sundry i and j Other ■ Matters.

The only time a man pleases Everybody is when he turns his face to the wall and expires; and the people hang around him and say things about him that would make him scream for joy if his poor, deaf ears could only hear. • » One of our well known business men went to the post office in a hurry the other morning, and without thinking what he was about, got out his cork screw to open the box. The laugh that greeted his attempt quickly brought him to his senses. * * itI always feel sorry for a woman who comes as a bride to a strange town. If she is not good- looking, the young people openly pity her husband for having married her. And brides usually look so scared to death they can’t be good looking. *' * * At a prayermeeting the other night a Monon man prayed thusly: “Oh, Lord, thou knowest that we are thankful to Thee, that our souls are safe fromthe fire that quencheth not. If a man loses his horse, Thou knowest he can buy another; if he loses his wile thou knowest he can get another; but if he loses his soul, good bye, John.” * * * A farmer who was in town Saturday became so absorbed in a d,eal that when he got ready co go home he forgot his team and walked home, leaving it hitched at one of the bitch barns. When he arrived home he suddenly remembered what he had done and telephoned the hitch barn to take care of the team until he called for it, which he did Sunday. «■ * • You often hear of church affairs where they sell kisses for money: young girls fifty cents to a dollar, old maids three for a quarter; and married women two for a cent. We do not believe any such thing was ever done; do not believe a church fair was ever held where kisses were sold. Have read of many such fairs, but have never been able to find such a place to spend money.