Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 11, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 August 1901 — Arrow Shots. [ARTICLE]

Arrow Shots.

Now some idiot is booming Schley for the Presidency. This is the worst blow he has had since Senator Wellington sp warmly espoused his cause. I don’t like the word “shrinking” applied to a woman; it always reminds me of a flannel shirt that goes into the wash too big, and comes out too little. Now, Coin Harvey says it was all due to Jones’ management. Wrong! It was due to the fact that Bryan was one candidate and McKinley the other. A Siberian mammoth which has been dead for 50,000 years has been found with undigested food still in its stomach. This breaks the record for indigestion. Now that Mr. Bryan is referred to merely as “a disturbing factor” in the situation, it is about time that he and Grover should get together on a “midunderstood” platform. At any rate, J. Pierpont Morgan didn’t say’or do anything abroad to make his country ashamed of him and that’s more than we can say of all Americans who cross the Atlantic. For a man who criticized American newspaperdom so severelj’ as he did, Editor Harmsworth has reached the limit for servility in copying the worst phases of yellow journalism, too. Pullman porters are discussing a scale of tips to be posted in their cars, so that they may make a living. As an alternative, how would it do to apply to tne Pullman Car company for an increase of wages. The Germans are practical folks and are not likely to esteem General Waldersee’s conduct of the Chinese campaign as reflecting much honor on, or bringing much profit to, the Fatherland. Secretary Alger is going to reminisce about the Spanish war. Can’t he wait until we get the Schley business off our hands? The exhumation of the embalmed beef question would be a little too high for this time of year. True, the air ship has been proved more dangerous than the automible. But, nevertheless, it is not likely to meet with general acceptation until some way is devised of making it more destructive to the innocent pedestrian. Despite the great outcry China made about its inability to pay indemnity it seems to have found no difficulty in securing a million or so with which to build a legation building in Washington that will be bigger and finer than anything in the city.

They that take the sword, says the Psalmist, shall perish by* the sword. Bnt they who live in the same country where a strike is going on should not be ruined by pne side or the other to the quarrel. Isn’t it about time that the public should stop this sort of thing? Pretty boon Shaffer will take his place with Debs, Irons, and the rest of the long roll of those who have led labor unions to ruin through their own personal inordinate ambition. After a much longer time, labor organizations will learn not to entrust their interests to flighty individuals whose only recommendation is a facile tongue. But it will be a long time before then. Now it is proposed to import hand some butterflies from abroad with which to beautify our city parks. We object! The lovliest butterfly will sooner or later be followed by a lot of caterpillars and goodness knows we have enough of those without import|pg more. The man who brought the gypsy moth, or butterfly, into Massachusetts is still Oosting that state thousands of dollars a year in the attempt to undo the damage his heedlessness has wrought.

I shot an arrow Into the air. It fell to the earth; I know not where. —Longfellow. It is not the people with the most brain that wear colored shoe strings in their shoes. No matter how ill fitting a suit is, if it is the college style, a college boy likes to strut around in it. How much idle, foolish talk there is. Do you talk it? Nobody* cares what promises he makes to a liar. ou can always attract a woman’s attention with a new cook book. Lots of men are all right, only they stopped learning too long ago. Isa woman has no other reason to make you move when you are seated reading, she chases the fli«s. •w. -w. It is all right to take the last banana off a fiuit dish, because nobody else wants it anyway. The best ice cream is always towaid the bottom of the freezer. If you take out your watch and the rest of the crowd’s watcnes agree, you will hear no protest, but if they do not, then everybody will question your watch’s accuracy. After a man gets to be thirty, there is always something about him that fixing How do you like to have people tell you that the county papers aro all the same, anyway? Dentists’ shops are always on the second floor, presumably so passersby cannot see into your mouth. There are always people who never spend a cent, yet are always kicking about the high price of everything. Some days a fellow could easily waste every bit of his time listening to fool stories. A dentist always says it will not hurt, yet it al way a does. Sometimes a livery driver uses a lap robe not so much for the looks of it as he does to conceal the fact that he changed coats, but did not change trousers.

People Who scarcely have a deefeht shirt to their back make a bluff and call It going to a “house party.” When folks begin to laugh at the big stories a man tells, he might just as well quit telling them. If a person has once been a preacher he never loses the reputation. ■u People who have no children make much ado over dogs. < Lots of people’s stories are laughed at by some people, bm when they are laughed at by everybody, then It is time to quit. If a man is once fixed up in a patent right deal, folks never forget it. We are inclined to magnify the things we do. A man who goes to a picnic and comes home good natured is entitled to be called a Christian.