Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 11, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 August 1901 — Our Man About Town. [ARTICLE]

Our Man About Town.

9 Discusses I Sundry i and j Other || Matters.

The other day a couple of kids got hold of the family dog and sheared it. They made a lion of him, but left his tail too shaggy and he looked as if he had run through a threshing machine. One of the neighbor women came in and agreed with the lady of the house that the dog looked too ragged and volunteered to shape him up a little better. So she tnrned in and held the dog while the woman sheared his tail. Just as they were getting a good start, the man who owned the dog came home and he has not got through guying them yet. A better graft than the “Buffalos” has made its appearance. It may not cost one so much in some cases, but it is sure to cost them more than 11 cents if it works. The joker with a few kernels of corn in his pocket suddenly and innocently (?) asks his friend if he can give him a dollar for some “chicken feed,” as sma 1 change is sometimes called. The friend to be accommodating, says “yes,” and hands out the dollar. The joker then pockets it and hands his victim several kernels .of corn that he had in his pocket. The most recent report from the corn belt indicate, however, that the promoters of this game are likely to be defeated right at the start. Only the very rich man will be able to go around with a few kernels of corn in his pockets, and his dignity will render him Charmless. *♦* A man bought some goods at one of the stores s >me time ago and did not pay for them. The merchant is having a little trouble collecting the bill. He has been after the fellow so much that when he drives past the store, all he has to do is to point his finger at him and he stops and says he will be around in the evening to settle the bill. That is what one might call 'absent treatment that is effective. *•* A Kansas editor with a hearty imagination says that it has been so long since it rained in that town that spring chickens were grown almost to frying size without ever having seen rain. Some of them showed their surprise during a shower the other day by chasing after the big dropsin great excitement, evidently thinking the drops were bugs. « * w The man who sits down in the lap of a custard pie at a picnic and then tries to laugh it off, may be a philosopher and a gentleman, but the majority of people would a good deal rather pin their faith- to the fellow who takes a case knife and scrapes it off. » * « The quickest way to fame nowadays, is to get cured of some swell disease that is recommended in the fashion notes, and then send your photograph and testimonial to the man who made the proprietary preparation which yanked you out of the grave. « * * Before a girl is married, her voice sounds like the soft cooing of a dove but after she has been married six months, she can be heard four blocks when she talks over the fence to the milkman in the morning.