Rensselaer Journal, Volume 11, Number 9, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 August 1901 — The Drummer's Conscience, [ARTICLE]

The Drummer's Conscience,

The “Listener” of the Boston Transcript quotes an authority on “drummers.” The other night he sat cheek by jowl with a gentleman with a sonorous checked suit, auu learned much. “A drummer’s conscience,” said he of the vehement pepper-and-salt—-“a drummer’s conscience is lodged in his trunk.” Remarkable, thought the “'Listener.” “Yes,” he continued, “you can judge of the drummer’s morals pretty accurately by the size of his trunk. If he carries a big trunk, he’s a temperate, moral, decent chap. Keeps straight, you know. But if he carries a little trunk, or only a suit case, steer clear of him; he’s dangerous! And here’s the reason, sir: The big trunk is packed full of samples and the rascal has to spend all his evenings packing and unpacking them. The little trunk or the suit case means a free evening to run wild and tear up the town.” Glancing across the hotel lobby, which was still well crowded with loungers, the philosopher continued: “See that jolly chap smoking the crooked cigar? Father of seven, good bank account, gets credit anywhere, doesn’t drink, hates cards—three trunks! See that round-shoul-dered little chump with the silk hatT Plays the races, runs after the sluggers, drinks two Manhattans before breakfast, smokes in bed —suit case!"