Rensselaer Journal, Volume 10, Number 52, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 June 1901 — Our Man About Town. [ARTICLE]

Our Man About Town.

m Discusses 1 Sundry v and J Other ■ Matters.

Did you ever happen to think that rustling for the wherewith to fill the yawning columns of a country weekly wasn’t always “beer and pretzels?” As you glanced over the paper and laid it aside with the comment, “nothing in it,’’ did you ever stop to realize that there was considerable labor involved in even what there was in it? And again, don’t you suppose that the editor knows just as well as you—probably a little better —when there is and is not anything in the paper? The poor pencil-driver would be only too glad to dish up columns of news, if the incidents of interest would happen. Unfortunately, it would be a little unpleasant to axe a man for news (no, that’s not a pun). And if the marriage and elopement, birth and death fail to do their work it means more editorial gray hairs. The last straw is when local bodies, organizations, councils and the like "fail to hold their meetings which, when they do occur, are always filled with matters of great moment to the world—that is, the local part of it.- Never thought of it before, eh, when you grumbled over your local paper? W6II, we’ll let it go this time, but, after this, please think of it. * * <* A young fellow from the south end of the county, who is said to be con templating matrimony, was in town last week for the purpose of buying a new buggy and harness that he might do his courting more satisfactory IJe already had a fairly goou old buggy, but thought the new one would aid him better when it came to popping the question. He got the outfit, giving a mortgage on it and a good horse to secure its payment. Since the purchase it has been suggested that the proper thing for one with his in tentions would have been to have purchased a baby buggy instead of the buggy hj did.

It is reported that one of our city councilmen will endeavor to have an ordinance passed forbidding roosters to crow, on the ground of their using fowl language.

Many Kansas saloon keepers assert that they are not violating the prohibition law of that state, because they are selling only imitation liquor. If a prohibition law existed here, some of our saloon keepers would find no difficulty in evading it on that ground, it is said. -z- * * editors of the Winamac papers have nothing else on their minds, they dash off something like this: “The distinguished gentleman who yanks the Washington hand press iu the place across the alley during one day a week and fights booze the rest of the time, is a liar, a scoundrel, a black legged thief and a debaucher of public morals. He is the scum that the negro minor blows from his beer. His office is a cesspool and his ravings the babbling of a fanatical lunatic with anarchistic ideas. He should be driven from the town to the rattling of drums and spattering of “over ripe eggs.” And the people of the town .read it and say: “That’s hot stuff! He’s a good writer.”

If the proposed new brick streets will be too noisy for the sensitive ears of the property owners along the route it might be a good idea for the council to substitute asphalt instead of brick in the specifications. Asphalt is noiseless and makes a fine street. * * * *■ It always sounds pretty to say, “The sun has sunk beneath the western horizon,” but a moment’s reflection will show that it is the only horizon he could sink under, under the circumstances. When he feels like sinking, he always selects the western horizon. * * 3 Bryon, in one of his fits of generosity, exclaimed: “Roll on, thou dark and deep blue ocean, roll!” And the ocean, taking advantage of the privilege, has been rolling ever since. If you notice a young lady on the street twisted up to resemble the letter “S,” stepping like she was walking on the sharp end of tacks ana apparently in the last stage of cholera morbus—she is not in such misery as the uninitiated would imagine. She is simply giying yon the kangaroo walk, which ig the latest.