Rensselaer Journal, Volume 10, Number 50, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 May 1901 — Picked Up Around Town [ARTICLE]

Picked Up Around Town

We know a man who never subscribes anything to any chnrch enterprise. He has the money and could afford it. He is not stingy, in general, but liberal. He never refuses to contribute when approached on any charitable donation. But for the building or maintenance of any church regardless of denomination he absolutely and emphatically refuses to give a copper. When asked the reason, the other day, he related that years ago his name had been forged to a church subscription. He refused to pay it, when the collectors came around. He was sued and the case was fought through the lower court, and he was beaten, and it was taken to the supreme court and he lost the case there. He claims he lost it because the clergy were against him and swore to things that he, a worldling, would not have said under oath under any circumstances. Since that time his name has not appeared on any church subscription nor has he been seen inside any church. If he goes to church for worship it is in the night when folks cannot see him, and it is not supposed he goes after dark. The question is, how much good will a church do, that is built with money that has been sued for? If the Lord loves a cheerful giver, what does He think of that sort of a contribution and if “Thou shalt not bear false witness,” what becomes of doctrines and creeds and the love that neighbors should have for each other; what becomes of all these? * * * 9 A couple of little boys met in the street the other day. Neither knew the other, as it afterwards appeared. The older one kicked a clod or two as a sort of challenge and then asked the other boy what his name was. He did not seem to get a satisfactory answer. He asked him where he lived and the little boy not considering it any of his business, wouldn’t tell him. He did not exactly tell him it was none of his business, as it wasn’t, but he refused to give the desired information. He tried to scare the little stranger and that was a failure, so be took his hat and the little fellow comblained, but did not cry. He pretended to throw it up into a tree top. The boy objected and asked for his hat. The larger boy threw it into the street and then began clodding him. He began crying and when he got his hat, the bigger boy made him run home, and thus they had been introduced. And so have boys in all ages been made acquainted. Adam ;is the only exception and the only reason he did not take his neighbor’s boy’s hat and throw it away was because he had no neighbors and besides Adam was made full grown. There may also not have been any trees high enough since it was so early in the beginning. We asked the little offender if he knew the boy whose hat he had thrown away. He said he did not, and when admonished not to tease little boys, he replied, “Well, I made him run home anyhow.” Thus human nature is the same yesterday, today and forever. Very few men around town like to get their hair cut on Saturday. They know it is the barber’s busy day and they prefer to wait and get their work done when there is more leisure. Barbers say as sure as a man comes in to get his hair cut on Saturday, even though there is not another customer in sight, in no time at all, the shop will fill up and they can scarcely get around for people waiting to get work done. *** A Newton county woman had not had a buggy ride for twenty five years, but had worked hard every day. She got a ride the other day. It was at the funeral of a near relative. The next one she will get will no doubt be at het own funeral. * * * A Rensselaerite got a keg of beer to celebrate a holiday one time. He invited several friends in to help him be jolly and have a good time. But his guests had too good a time and the result was both got gloriously, picturesquely jagged. When they started home, each thought the other was under the influence, while he was sober, and insisted on taking the other home. * * « We heard of a girl in this town the

other day who says she has been engaged to so many fellows that she cannot remember them all. Well, why doesn’t she get a family record? ♦ A man told us the other day he had got injured some time ago, and the injury bothered him greatly. It first consisted of some broken bones, merely, but now it has turned into a “chronic.” He probably thought a chronic was the same as a carbuncle or a cancer. We trust it will not kill nim, as be is too tunny to be spared. . * M « We saw a man the other day walking along the street, chewing and moving his lips as if he were busily engaged in eating something that was so good he didn’t want folks to know it. He kept chewing away and we wondered if it was chewing gum. He does not chew tobacco. Presently we discovered that he was talking to himself. How we did wonder what he was talking about. And how can it be any satisfaction, for he surely could not get up anything of an argument. And be could not call his opponent a liar. What if he did and went to knock him down for it? What complications he would get into! And he couldn’t ask him for a chew of his Battle-Ax. and say to him: “Let’s drop all this nonsense and be friends.” But maybe the man knew a sensible man when he saw him and therefore engaged in an animated with himself.