Rensselaer Journal, Volume 10, Number 49, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 May 1901 — Picked Up Around Town [ARTICLE]

Picked Up Around Town

A Remingtouian, who rarely goes to Chicago, says somebody there must look almost like him, as the Kids all say “hello Reub” when they meet him, and that’s not his name. ♦ • • Living in the north part of town is a woman who never goes out of her house at all exoept to go down town to buy •groceries now and then. There has been a shutter hanging on her house on one hinge crooked all year, and the neighbor women say she doesn’t go out of the house enough to see it. • • • A widower in this town Is mad because some one said he had asked five women to marry him and they had all refused. He says be never said it, and of course he is mad. • ♦ • A girl said she makes it a point to entertain all the strangers that come to town, if she possibly can get an excuse to do so. The object is, that she is a good visitor and when she gets folks indebted to her, she goes to visit them to pay them back. • « • A man came to rent a farm of a woman. He was a stranger and the deal was not made. Afterwards, some of the neighbors asked why she did not rent the farm. She said she would have rented to him but be was such a profane man. When told that he was a preacher in good standing, she concluded that, perhaps, it would be just as well to get a dictionary and look up the meaning of profane. A man stopped a paper that he had been taking and liked, because it claimed the election of a certain ticket and he staked his money on its judgment and lost. He now says be wouldn’t have the Infernal paper in his place of business if it was given to him. • • • A man’s wife lay on her deathbed. It was not supposed by the griefstricken watchers that she could live through the night. Her busband, an old skinflint who would hang a flea on the backyard fence and skin it for its pelt, went to bed and slept like a stone all night. In the morning when he got up and came to her room he yawned and said in a tone of surprise and perhaps some disappointment: “Well, mother, I see you are still here.” And yet the good Lord allows some men to live and grow old. • • • We heard of a family the other day who have the sneezing habit. They all like to take a good sneeze the first thing in the morning when they get up. So they all stand in a tow in front ofthe bouse and look up at the sun till they all sneeze, and then they say they feel ready for business for all day. « • • Two kids were having an argument the other day about some chewing gum one had found. The boy who did not have the chewing of it said the other boy found it on the ground, but the boy who was chewing it denied it strenuously and said he did not find it on the ground, but be found it on the walk, and then he went on chewing for dear life, as if he were afraid somebody would try to take it away from him and chew it.