Rensselaer Journal, Volume 10, Number 48, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 May 1901 — HUMOR OF THE DAY. [ARTICLE]

HUMOR OF THE DAY.

“Do you believe there is any luck In black cats?” “Th?re Is luck In mine.” “Ah. Indeed!” “Yes, he just ate a rabbit’s foot”—Chicago News. Sometimes success seems near enough For us to touch her garment’s border) But ere we do she’s gone—it’s tough!— To fill some more attractive order. —Brooklyn Life. “Love Is a great leveler,” remarked the Wise Guy. “You bet” agreed the Simple Mug, enthusiastically. ‘Tv* been thrown over half a dozen times.” —Philadelphia Record. Fanny—“ Now, when I am asked to sing I never say, ‘Oh, I can’t!’ but I always sit down at the piano—” Annie—“ And let the audience find it out for themselves?”—Tit-Bits. “I’ve just found out how J. Pierpont Morgan must have proposed to his wife.” “How?” “He probably said, ‘Darling will you put yourself tn my trust?’ ’’—Chicago Record-Herald. ‘Tis woman’s privilege, they say. To change her mind. The same Applies unto her wedding day, When she may change her name. —Philadelphia Record. Phrenologist—“My 'riend I find you have a most remarkable memory.” Mr. Mulcahay—“Professor, wud yea molnd puttin’ thot down an a shllp av paper so’s Oi won’t fergit it?”—Lealie’s Weekly. Patience—“Do you know, when Will went to put the engagement ring on my finger, he really didn’t know which finger it should go on.” Patrice—- “ Well he must have had a very poor memory.”—Yonkers Statesman. Little Muriel learned In her lesson that “Yarmouth is celebrated for the curing of herring.” “Oh, how funny it must be,” she exclaimed, “to see the little sick herrings sitting round getting ’setter!”—Youth’s Companion. “Do you appreciate music?” “Sometimes,” answered the young man with wide ears. “The other evening I went to hear a big chorus, and I dozed off and thought the home team was making home runs that drove the bleacher* crazy.”—Washington Star. Willie Boerum (entertaining his sister’s caller))—“Do you like baseball very much, Mr. Jamaica?” Mr. Jar malca—“l never played ball much, Willie, I enjoy golf.” Willie Boerum (disappointedly)—“Why, I heard pa tell Susan you was a great catch!”— Brooklyn Eagle. Mr. Sllmpurse—“People say that * young couple can get along very nicely nowadays on a small income, if the—er—wife is of a practical turn of mind.” Sweet Girl—“Oh, I’m real practical. My favorite piano piece I* an imitation of the spinning wheel.”— New York Weekly.