Rensselaer Journal, Volume 10, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 March 1901 — PITH AND POINT. [ARTICLE]

PITH AND POINT.

Theodore—“He went so far as to call me a puppy!” Harriet—“ And at your age! The idea!”—Boston Transcript. “She seems so happy. Did she marry for love or for money?” "Neither. She took him to spite a lot of other girls.”—Chicago Times-Herald. “Is your wife a good cook, Christie?” “You bet. So good that she never insists on my eating what she has cooked.”—Philadelphia Bulletin. "I would I were a bird,” she sang. And the old man rose to say: , “I wish you were a bird, indeed; For then you’d fly away.” —Philadelphia Record. American Heiress (proudly)—“l was presented to the Duke de Flunskl last night.” American Man—“ Did he think the gift worth the title?”—Ohio State Journal. “Why do you object to Mr. Krankey, papa? He’s a young man of means.” ‘’Yes, I know; it’s not his means, but his extremes, that I object to.”—Kansas City Star. He brought a hook of poetry— Philosophical and brand-new-, And then, to make the book go down, He brought her candy, too. —Chicago Record. “How delightfully your dear daughter plays Wagner.” “I’m afraid you’ve made a mistake; that’s the servant girl down stairs working with the clothes wringer.”—Tit-Bits. Belle—“ Herbert has been going out with me these three months now. Do you not think It is time he proposed?” Rival —“Oh, no; it was nearly six months before he proposed to me.”—» Tit-Bits. Mr. Gooph—“Do you really think out daughter’s musical education is complete?” Mrs. Gooph —“Think so! I know so. Why, you can’t understand a single word of what she sings.”—Baltimore American. “I’m afraid,” she sighed, “that I’m Jetting old.” “Why?” he asked. “When go to the grocery now the clerks don’t nearly break their necks trying to beat one another in getting my orders.”—Chicago Times-Herald. Blnkerton—“What is that piece that Professor Nagelschmitz is playing?” Pilgarllc—“That? Oh, that’s one of the ‘Songs Without Words.’ ” Binkerton—“Well, the audience seem to be doing their level best to supply the deficiency.”—Harlem Life. “The new King’s new title is Edward VII., isn’t it?” inquired the patron who was waiting to have her new waist tried on. “Yes,” replied the dressmaker, her mouth full of pins. “His title is cut V-shapcd, with two whalebones set in at the side.”—Cleveland Plaindealer. “I don’t understand why you speak of her as a ‘poor widow.’ Her first two husbands left her stacks of money, and now ” “And now she’s going to marry again. That’s just it It’s a mighty poor widow who can’t play the part more than a year at a time.”— Philadelphia North American.