Rensselaer Union and Jasper Republican, Volume 8, Number 37, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 June 1876 — A Spelling Machine. [ARTICLE]

A Spelling Machine.

“Spelling bees” are now raging violently in England; and they continue to buzz at intervals here and there in our own country. And this reminds us of the man who while visiting Lake MephagagatunkoobogsquitakloonalieK„a summer resort in Maine, conceived the brilliant idea of inventing a machine that would spell the longest name of any lake in that State without creaking. He meant well, but he failed—miserably failed. When his machine was finished a large crowd congregated to witness its performance. At first the inventor tried it on the name of a small lake—or rather, on the small name of a lake—Lake Huggmooskwobbyskit. He commenced to turn the handle—very slowly at first. Presently there was such a groaning, snapping and inward rumbling that the spectators thought his spelling machine was going to fly to bits every minute. It spelled the lake correctly, however, and the inventor’s face was wreathed with smiles and perspiration. He next tried Lake Woonsockitywissickquotiprobubcricksnixpockit. The spectators gatnered closer, and watched intently. The man again took hold of the crank and ventured a turn. With great difficulty he moved it about an inch, and the insides creaked frightfully. Then he pulled off his coat, rolled up his shirt sleeves, spat on his hands, and essayed another turn. His brows contracted, his teeth gritted, and—whiz-z-z! bang! bang! whil! klop! bank! * ' The air was filled with cog-wheels, mahogany splinters,dial plates, fragments of the alphaltet, screws, and so forth. And that spelling-machine was no more forever. Two persons were killed on the spot, and several wounded or the same place. Anil you saw such a demoralized man as that inventor was aboutthat time. He sadly remarked that he didn’t think it was a healthy climate for spellingmachines. and he left the Lake Mepliagagatuhkoobogsquitokloonatick House without saying good-by to anyone.—Aor-