Rensselaer Union and Jasper Republican, Volume 8, Number 34, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 May 1876 — A Night’s Adventure in a Western Hotel. [ARTICLE]

A Night’s Adventure in a Western Hotel.

“Oh,” said the Judge, alluding to the circuit-rider’s description of his nocturnal adventure, “ that ain’t nothin’ oht of the way. Did you ever hear the story of Old Bit Crooks when he strayed with the ’Squire down to the Rising Sun’” Friar William never had heard of it, and was not acquainted with “Bit Crooks.” “ Wal,” said the Judge, “ you seo ‘ Old Bit’ he was the agent for the lowa Land Company, and he had to go travelin’ through these parts, and then go East to meet the company and settle up his accounts. One night Old Bit be turned up at the Squire’s, dead tired out. * Put me in bed,’ says he, ‘or I’ll die!’ ‘“Ain’t got no bed,’ said the Squire; ‘ five agents Of tbe Minnesotv Land Purchasing Company just arrived, and I’ve given them my room.’ “ * Can’t help it,’ says Bit; * I teD you I’ll die if you don’t let me have soma sleep; they’ve gone out; put me in there till they come home.’

“ So the Squire gaye him some supper, and Bit turned in. The old fellow no sooner got in that room, with them rival Minnesoty fellows’ duds Ivin’ all around, than he began to barricade the door. First he brought the bureau and stood it against the door; then he hauled axound the bed; and wedged the washstand and trunks in so as to make one strong brace of the furniture clear across the room. After this he turned in and went sound to sleep. About ten o’clock the Minnesoty chaps came back and tried their door, but couldn’t gotfin. “ * What in the dickens is up now ?’ said Col. Dodge. ‘ Who’s in oar room?’ -- - “Then the Squire came round and begged Old Bit to get out, - - “ 1 Can’t do it,’ roared Bit. “You mast,’ said the Colonel. “ No, I won’t,’ bawled. Crooks. * You must get some other place now; I’m most dead.’ “ * I’ll break every panel through with my bowie-knife,’ shoutea the Colonel. “ ‘Very well,’ said Bit; ‘the moment your bowie-knife comes through I’ll let fire my seven-barreled revolver.’ “ ‘ Oh, don’t, don’t, gentlemen,’ said the ’Squire; ‘ I can’t have a murder here; for Heaven’s sake, stop this, or you’ll ruin my house. Here, Colonel, turn Into the parlor.’ , “So the Colonel gave it up, and they slept in the parlor that night, and Bit Crooks snored away until eight o’clock. The next morning they all turned up at breakfast. Bit hid a squeaky voice; and there was no disguising himself. “ ‘ So you are the individual who was going to blow my brains out last nirht with your seven-barreled revolver? 1 said the Colonel, addressing file t’other agent as he was dissecting his beefsteak. “ ‘ And you are the fellow who was going to open the panels with your bowieknife, are you ?’ said Bit. ”tr l “ ‘Yes,’ said the Colonel, ‘ and how did you feel then?’ “ * Never was so scared in my life;’ said Bit ‘ I was shaking all over, for yea see I hadn’t the ghost or a pistol!’ ‘“Well,! laughed toe Colonel, ‘you couldn’t have been more frightened than I was, for I hadn’t the sign of a bowieknife!’ ” —“ Adventures of a GircuitBider," in Appleton's Journal.