Rensselaer Gazette, Volume 3, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 November 1859 — Pretty Good. [ARTICLE]

Pretty Good.

“Class in philosophy of politics,come up.” Ten boys arise from their seats and array . themselves in the usual order in front of their' I pedagogue.” “Now then, what is polrticsl” “Politics is the art of fishing for office r sir.” “Next; what Is the politics of this country !” “Spoils and the almighty nigger; mostly ; the nigger, sir.” “What is Democracy I” “Democracy is doin’ nothin’ for the peo- ! pie and everythin’ for office.” I “What are the principles of Democracy, ’ next?” “ Votin’ sir.” “What are the tenets of the Republican party 1” “Wool and the irrepressible conflict.” “What are the inalienable rights of freai men!” “The right of votin’ easy and often, the I right of sellin’ tiieir votes to the highest bidder, and the right of stuffin’ the ballot box.” “Can you explain what are the State rights J” “Well, when 1 read Douglas’ opinion, 1 begin to think State rights are a muddle, and when I read Judge Black’s opinion, 1 know they’re a muddle, and the more I think the less I know about ’em. Douglas says, States have rights, with u proviso; Judge Black says, States have rights with a reservation. I can’t find the reservation, and don’t know where te leak for the proviso. I* “What is the Constitution!” “A finger board a pointin’ the way which nobody goes.” “What is a member of Congress!” “Sometimes a shoulder-hitter, sometimes a high-heeled ro.vdy and often an ignoramus.” r “What are the qualifications necessary for a member of the Legislature!” “He must be able to play poker, drin|< gin, talk loud and long in bar-rooms, make windy syceches full of sound and fury, signifying nothing, and have no objections to going in on his muscle.” “Who are the law-makers!” “The law-breakers.” “ Which is the dominant party at present?” “Well, it’s nip and tuck—nip a little ahead.” After this intelligible and humorous answer from the smallest boy, the clasa retired covered with glory and bibs.