Rensselaer Gazette, Volume 3, Number 20, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 September 1859 — HOW AN OFFICE-SEEKER CAME NEAR KILLING AN EDITOR. [ARTICLE]

HOW AN OFFICE-SEEKER CAME NEAR KILLING AN EDITOR.

We have for a long time deliberated whether or not to publish the following, and have at last concluded to make it public, as a warning to all future office-seekers. There is a gentleman residing in this county, (a fine fellow and whole-souled all over, who will do anything to accommodate his friends,) who was a candidate for nomination to a county office at the last primary election; but whether he received the nomination or not shall remain a secret, as we intend to relate how he came near putting the the editor of the Gazette under six feet of ground, and we don’t want the Grand Jury to indict him next week for on attempt to commit murder. This gentleman came into our sanctum on one of the most sult y days in July, and plyed us with one continual string of questions and suggestions, until our ears fairly rung with the confused ideas going in at one side and out at the other' meeting and passing in hurried succession. “He didn’t want the office—no, not he—it would be a curse to him—but, then, his friends desired him to run, and he couldn’t see how he could so tar disoblige them as to decline. Really, he was sorely troubled, and wished to gracious he had never been thought of.” Such was the language, and much more of the same nature, that our unwilling ears were compelled to listen to. We tried to evade his questions—to turn the conversation—asked him out to drink a lemonade—but all in vain—'.here was no escape, but to “grin and bear it;” so we gave ourself up to our fate with the feeling# of a ■ martyr, and prepared for the worst. Off went our coat, and then <>ur vest. VVe pulled off our cravat, unbuttoned our shirt collar, and rolled up our pants, for the political atmosphere was getting terribly oppressive, and we felt as if already roasting at the stake. Still on, on, talked the politician, taking no notice of our agonizing position. We grasped for a chair and threw ourself on it, for we had been standing all this time, with the tormenter on tip-toe whispering in our ear. Our head fell on the table—we were almost helpless—but our unfeeling friend stooped over us and whispered on. Presently we fell to the floor insensible. Our overtaxed physical and mental natures could endure it no longer. Hc<v we remained in this condition we could n.-ver clc«r! v make out, but ’’ must have been in the neighborhood of two or I three hours, for when “reason again reigned ! supreme” we found our persevering friend lying on the floor beside us, hollowing in our ear, but very we-ik and hoarse, for he had well nigh expended his breath in the vain effort to make u» hear while insensible. The first words that saluted our ears on recovering were, “What do youthink of my chance!—not that I care—but, then, my friends, you know,” uttered hoarsely and with gasping breath. Directly he fainted from pure exhaustion, and we crawled out and procured assistance to carry him home. Ever since that day, when we so narrowly escaped u horrible death, we have shunned office-seekers as we would the sheriff However, we voted for our ftiend, believing that he had well earned our support, and we hereby promise to always vote for him at every election as long as we live, if he will never electioneer us again; and, too, he is a perfect gentleman, and would, no doubt, fill an office with ns much grace as ourself or any other man of talent. Reader, if you don’t believe that the above is true in every respect, why, all we have to say is—it is your privilege.