Rensselaer Gazette, Volume 3, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 August 1859 — A “Nate Little Row.” [ARTICLE]

A “Nate Little Row.”

Recently a good honest looking Irishman was brought into Court, on a charge of as* and battery. The complainant was also an Irishman, and the “nate little row” they had originated as follows: Patrick went to Michael’s shanty, just by the La Cross depot, to borrow a handsaw. Michael was out after a bag of potatoes —so Patrick concluded to wait until his return; and, for about half an hour, enjoyed a pleasant chat with Katy, Michael’s wife. When Michael returned, Patrick and Katy sat by the cook-stove, their feet on the hearth, as sue able as two neighbors could be. Patrick bad his artn on ihe bu'-k of Katy’s chair, which aroused a feeling of jealousy hi the manly bosom of Michael, and after setting down his potatoes be sang out: “Put, ye dirtliy divil, an’ what for be ye aflher now? 1 “ Aflher , it is, Sure an’ I ’ou’d like to get yer ’unsaw to make a bottom for the trunnelbed, to put the children in.” “An’ why the divil didn’t yez take the saw, an’ make yer trunne 1-bed !” “Aisy now, Mickey dear, an’ it wouldn’t look well lor me to take off yer suw widout leaf; now would it, Mickey!” “Ye is a right mart Paddy, now ain’t ye? An’ for what sits ye there like a haythen Tu-r-k,widyer arm aboi>t K >ty for? Is that the way ye get a ’ansaw, ye dirthv blackguard!” “Arruh now, Mickey dear, sure an’ isn’t that the same arm I sprained last fall liftin’ yer poor, dead cousin, Tim O'Rjffert, wid, when he fell from the mast to the dick o’the vissil, like a big log? An’ ain’t, the arm till this blessid day as lame us a piper’s dog, an’ would yez refuze to let me p t it in an aisy. comfortable place—jist on the back uv a a chair, till I could wait to ax yez for the 'ansaw, to make a trunnel-bed for the children wid, Mickey dear!” “To the divil wid ye, now. An’ weren’t ye playin’ ball wid that same arm all the yestherday?” “Yis, Mickey, but that was the l lissed Sunday; an’ faith, b t we two played a nate game, clanin’ out, like a whirlwind, Teddy an’ the rest of the blackguards.” “So we did; but ye needn’t come here to make luv to me wife when I’m out for the praties. Do ye think ye is an editor, to be taken the freedom of the press in that style?” “Makin’ luv to Katy, is it! God rist her nurty eyes, and what put that divil into yer head, Mickey?” “Her Ipurty eyes, is it! An’ I have a great will to give ye the natest bastin’ye iver had for the same liberthy ye tuck to look at them. Ye are in luv wid her now, ye piratical modoahn. an’ may I niver have a dip to light me through purgatory but I’ll give ye something to put in your trunnel-bed! Get up here till I whale the dirthy coat off ye!” “Ah, now, Mickey dear, don’t make a fool of yer sinsible self. An’ vvud 1 be alther makin luv to yer Katy, wid her red hair and dirthy face; wid her big hand like a tirtle’s nist, and’ her mouth lookin’ like a hole in a green apple 1 Arrah, now, Mickey, ain’t ye the divil to take me t be around her like a waysel, stalin’ the chicken ov yer heart from yer own coop, whin I have a bet,her lookin’ wife at home? Out wid yer nonsense, Mickey.” “An’ is it Katy yer compairin’ to all the lousy blackguards in yer own family? Katy who has for ’liven years been as thrue to me as the nadle unto t ! >e mariner’s pole? Is it pollin’ her mouth a hole in a green apple, and yer pt.oss-4 Bridget bethcr lookin’ than her 1 ”

At this stage of the proceedings Patrick jumped up to defend Bridget's reputation, jerked off his coat, which had hardly touched the floor before Michael and Katy had both clinched him. For about ihrae minutes things wore lively there. The cook-stove down; other articles misplaced; the baby pitched into the swill pail; and at last Patrick was thrown out of the door, with his pants torn, hair half out, his hat demolished, looking the worse for his tussle, and compe'led to go home without his handsaw. Each one of the parties were fined three dollars.— Milwaukie News.