Rensselaer Gazette, Volume 2, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 January 1859 — ENGINEERINHG A LOAN. [ARTICLE]

ENGINEERINHG A LOAN.

“Beau” Caldwell was a sporting genius,' of an extremely versatile character; like all his fraternity, he was possessed of a pliancy of adaptation to circumstance, that enabled ; him to succumb with true philosophy to mis-' fortune, and also to grace the more exalted sphere of prosperity, with that natural easel attributed .to gentlemen with bloated bank I accounts. Fertile in ingenuity and resource, “Beau” was rarely at his “wit’s end” for that “nest- 1 ‘ egg” of the gambler, a “stake.” His providence, when in luck, was such as to keep him continually on the qui vive for a nucleus : to build upon. Beau, having exhausted the pockets and liberality of his cotemporaries in Charleston, S. C., was constrained to “pitch his tent” in fresh pastures. He, therefore, se-' lected Abbeville, whither he was immediately expedited by the agency of a “free; pass.” Snugly ensconced at his hotel, Beau rum-' inated over the means to raise the “plate.” ; The barkeeper was assailed, but he was discovered to have scruples (anomalous bar- i keeper!) The landlord was a “glum wretch,” i with no soul fer speculation. The cornered ; “sport” was finally reduced to the alterna- j tive of a “confidence operation.” Having J 1 ° i j arranged his scheme, lie rented a precious j j negro boy, and borrowed an old theodolite. Thus equipped, “Beau” betook himself to! the abode of ; a neighboring planter, notorious for his wealth, obstinacy and ignorance. Oppcrations were commenced by sending j the “nigger” into the ...planter's barn-yard with a flag-pole. *• Beau” got himself up in-i to a charming tableaux, directly in frqnj of! the house. He now roared at the top of his i voice, “72,000,000 —45—11.” After which I jhe went to driving small stakes in a very i i ° . , . • ■ promiscuous manner about the premises. | The planter, hearing the shoutfng, and ■ curious to ascertain the cause, put his head ! out of the window. i “Now,” said “Beau,” again assuming Ids : “civil engineering” “go to the right a-j i little fu ther—there,That’ll do. 47,000 —i 192—5.” \ “What the d ! are you doing in my j barn yard!” roared the planter. “Beau” would not consent to answer this interrogation, but, pursuing business, liali looed out to his “nigger:” j “Now, go to the house, place your pole | j against the kitchen door, higher—stop at j that. 87, 45, 6.;’ ■ “I say, there,” again vociferated tlie plan- j ter, “get out of my yard.” “I am afraid we will have to go right, through the house,” soloquised “Beau.” j “I’m d d if you do,” exclaimed the j planter. “Beau,” now looking up for the fUst time, ( accosted the planter with a cortcous, “Good day, sir.” “Good d- 1, sir; you are committing a , trespass!” “My dear friend,” replied “Beau,” “public , duty, imperative—no trespass —surveying a railroad—Stale job—your house in the way. | Muse take off one corner, sir—the kitchen, part —least value—leave the pallor—de-j lightful room to see the cars rush by twelve j times a day—make you accessible to market.” !‘Beau,” turning to the “nigger,” cried out: “Put the pole against the kitchen door ; again—so, 85.” “I say, stranger,” interupted tho planter, *‘[ guess you ’aint dined. As dinner’s up, suppose you come in, and we’ll talk this matter over.” “Beau,” delighted with the proposition, immediately accepted, not having tasted cooked provisions that day. “Now,” said tho planter, while “Beau” | was paying marked attention to a young lien turkey, “it’s mighty inconvenient to have one’s homestead smashed up, without so r much as asking the liberty. And more than I that, if there’s law to be had, it shan’t be i did, neither.” “Pooh! nonsense my dear friend,” replied ‘Beau,’ ‘it's the law that says the railroad, must be laid right through kitchens. Why,! we have gone through seventeen kitchens and eight parlors in the last eight miles— j people don’t like it, but then it’s law, and there’s no alternative, excepting the party pursuades the surveyor to moove a little to the left, but as this involves a curve, and as curves cost money, most folks let it, go through the kitchen.” “Costs something, eh!” said the planter, eagorly catching at the bait thrown out far him. “I would not mind atrifle. Yon see,

1° don’t oppose the road, but if you’ll turn to , the lelt, and it won’t be much expense, why I’ll stand it,” “Let me see,” said Beau,’ counting on hisjfingers, “forty uml forty is eighty, and one hundred and twenty makes two hundred. Yes two hundred dollars will do it.” Unrolling a large map, intersected with lines running in every direction, he continued: “There is your house, and here is the road. . Air line. You see, to moove to the left we i must excavate this hill. As we are desirous of having the good will of parties residing on the route, I’ll agree on the part of the company to secure the alteration and [ire- ' ent your house from being molested.” The planter revolved the matter in his min'd for a moment, and then exclaimed: “You’ll guarantee the alteration!” “.Give-a written document.” “Then it’s a bargain.” The planter, without more delay, gave ‘Beau’ an order on his city factor for the stipulated sum, and received in exchange a ‘written document,’ guaranteeing the freedom of the kitchen from any encroachments by the C. L. R. R. Co. Before leaving, -Beau' took the planter to one side, and requested him not to disclose their bargain until after the railroad was built. “Youseo, it mightn't exactly suit the views of some people— partiality you know.’’ The last remark was accompanied by a suggestivo wink, which was returned by the planter in a similar demonstration ol owlishness. • ‘Beau’ resumed his theodolite, drove a few stakes in tho hill opposite, and proceeded onward in the fulfillment of his duties. As his little figure receded into obscurity and the distance, the planter caught a sound vastly like 40,40', 120, 200! And that was the last he ever herd of the railroad.— X. Y. Murcury. {K7”Thero is nothing truer Allan the ioliowing which wo - clip Irotn a Boston paper: jtThere is no book so cheap as a newspaper; none so interesting, because it contains a variety measured out in suitable proportions as to time and quality. Being new every week, it invites to u habit of reading, and afiords an agreeable mode of acquiring knowledge, so essential to tbe welfare of the individual and of the community in which it is.published'. It causes many an hour to pass away pleasantly and profitably which would otherwise have been spent in idleness, if not in mischief. Particularly in a family is it of importance, as inducing a good taste among children, a loudness for reading, and at the same time imparting largely of instruction to theiir minds. We are prepared to say that it is an easy matter at a glance to say when you see young people, and even children, old enough to read, whether their home is made pleasant and themselves improved by access to good readable' papers. Above all things support your Home Newspapers in preference to any from abroad. Lot heads o.f families think of this.”