Rensselaer Gazette, Volume 2, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 November 1858 — VARIOUS ITEMS. [ARTICLE]

VARIOUS ITEMS.

(g)7"The vulgar woman is a spider attempting to Spin silk. (l5”To cure the tooth-ache—let an omnibus run oyer your foot. (gs?" The man who took our advice has just brought it back again. (Uj”Edit<ir—a person who, next to the tailor, makes the best use of his scissors. , waj- to make a tall man short is to ask him to lend you a hundred dollars. fUy-’Were it not for the tears that fill our eyes what an ocean would fill our breasts. (tgy”There is no difference, sometimes, between the leg of a calf and the calf of a leg. you don't want a woman to ’go astray, the sooner you provide her with a baby-Hie better. {pjj~There is a fellow down East whose feet are so large that he is obliged to pull iiis boots on over his head. (jfJ”Jini Snicks is a practicle man, and puts everything to use. His vvafe has a bald head, ami he straps his razor on it. frlr-The newspapers are full of advertisements for plain cooks. We suppose pretty cooks have no -occasion to advertise at all. is nothirg truer than this: Al amusements of youth to which women are are not-admitted,'.are deleterious in their nature. gfij’Shoem-ikers and milkmen would make excellent hands <>n board a foundering ship, because they arc used to working at the pump's. j>y-T say, Mike, what sort of potatoes are those you .ire planting!” -Riw ones, to be sure, sir—your honor wouldn't be thinking I would plant boiled ones.'' .. tjUrlt is obmiwaide that hogs always turn round am! round several times before they-lie down-to Meep. We should judge from certain svmjitoms that the Bucnanan a.imi'imtralion ’is getting skoi>y:.—Prentice . The old managersot the National Moi.” tiinent at Washington have been restored to power, uml premise to complete the shaft, if nothing iporc, as soon as they can get the inoney. The column is now 175 feet limb. The pian is to have it 500. QfiT'-' Do y<> 1> lie-, e in second love, MistherLMeQuaile!” “Do I belave in second love! Humph! II a man buys a- pound of sugar, isn't it swate! And when it’s gone, don’t he want another pound, and Isn’t that swate too! Troth, Murphy, I belave in second love.” i - I - ••{LJ~You see, grandmama, we perforate an aperture, iu the apex and a corresponding aperture in the base, and by applying tire egg to the lips, and forcibly inhaling the breath, the shell is entirely discharged of its contents-” “Bless my soul,” cried the old lady,“what wonderful improvements they do make now; in my young days, we just made a hole in each end and sucked?' ,

£srSo long as God allows the vital current to flow through my veins', I will never, Sever, NEVER, by word or thought, by mind or Will, aid in admitting one rood ot free territory to the everlasting curse of human bondage.—Henry Clay. «

(K7”To-morrow is the Thanksgiving Day appointed by the Governor. The clergymen of Rensselaer and the different congregations will unite in" observing the day. Services at the Methodist Church in the forenoon, and at the Presbyterian in the evening. We would suggest to tbe-“-gude wives” who intend to celebrate the day in the good Nthv England way, with a roasted turky, not to put it on the tire until after the \ forenoon services, as ministers say that it is exceedingly uncomfortable to proceed when part of their audiences are anticipating burnt turkys, &c, - s {Kiy-Let every one of the one hundred and seventy-five subscribers of the Gazette who have not paid for the first volume, and the; four hundred who have not paid for the second volume, bear "in mind that we must have five hundred dollars within two or three weeks or suffer heavy.pecuniary loss. There are now. due us for subscription, advertising. &c.,j -upward of 1,200, and it would be no more j than right for our delinquent friends to step forward knd pay at least a portion of whatj they owe us. Let every one who is indebted to this establishment apply these remarks to himself. The following gentlemen are authorized to receive money for us, and receipt for the same;Andrew Young,.Morocco. James E. Stacy, Brook. Chas. Frankenberger, Pilot Grove. Amos Clark, Whitc’s'Grove. Frederick Rishling, Cathcart. M. S. Mead, Meadville. Thos. Lamborn, Esy., Carpenter’s ( reek. Theo, F. Stokes, Francisville. Thos. Antrim, Esq., Medaryville. Wm. T atman, Pleasant Grove. Chas. Boroughs, Hanging Grove. A. Wrightsman, Hanging Grove. The amount each man owes is small, but in the aggregate it is large to us.