Rensselaer Gazette, Volume 2, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 September 1858 — Excrucuating. [ARTICLE]

Excrucuating.

Scene I.—ln front of a fashionable imu . Gentleman dismounting from his horse: “Stabler attend! Refrigerate my by allowing him twice to cir.cumarrlm'V--yonder fountain; accomplished, to , quantity of acqueous particles’, ccmiim l h’- : , with care to the repository for wearied ; - ■ • and having clothed in luster iris dim ! ■ application of the vegetable mate d monly called straw, suffer ’dm t food which will afford him noiirisj-, gentle repose.” Stabler (laughing,) “YY-h-a-t. si: Gentleman.—What, sir! Stand you one who has no reason In his - id. ; this poor, poor beast, whose every r*.;r - fount of gushing strength, grows' valete- 1 ;, ary ’neath Sol's oppressive ray*. Y’ tile barbarian!” Stabler—(-laughing still more nn: edly.) “1 cannot understand - say, sir, but I suppose you waiit.you:- iV' put up.” (icntleman—“Stupidity unequa ied!. L-iu lord, fulminate your censures against (i. tardy churl, who thus manifest- .qnigy,; to my desires, and conduct rhu to sec.lu ’ apartments and bring rnc restpratives most vivitic* character, to reinstate to r •• former power the wearied energies d exhausted frame.” Landlord—(laughing.) “I will. “ Gentleman.—“ Preposterous! Am!" sir, unite in the disgrncefu 1 mcrriie ' your minion! -I should surmise mv sh H first of the specie you have ever !>- }i- . V Landlord—(laughing still mure.) “Ud you are sir.” Gentleman.—“Teminate this pr 9; and officiate as guard to my apart :»<•.■.: *. the hour of dinner, sumnnm me; it w ; “ someness shall have caused me to b - incunibent in posture, gently reanihmt > u i: The breath of a fan.” Scene 2.—The dining-room Gseating himself at the table, dmm r - and others standing iii tlie room. (Gentleman.—“l should judge -- -rarity and ignorance prevailing charact er;-' is r [ , I see nothing among the reeking ruin.'-, worthy the regard of a gentleiiniiiV ’pal *,-. YVaiter, I desire a female fowl, sufl.ii; y ot! but not redundantly made edible by fire." It. is done. ’ “YVaiter, jdace a tender portion of ■’ - breast upon my plate, with the necessary ar- | coinpaniments: i li is dune as ordered,-and the gentle.nan commences his dinner, j A wag, who, with .others, had ' . r\- d these proceedings, seated him or if 'at ; q f . ; ,- Wr oppsite 6i.r hero. )Y ag. YY aiter, t:irnish me with a ; male fowl. The waiter understood the.!.... •. ; ; as he is bid. “YVaiter dissever, now her com;. parts.” It is done. “Waiter, divide . those par's into poriim ! suffic/ed to luhical capacity.” ! < Opening liis month, and throwing Kms. | back on his. clmir#. “-Waiter, place one of tin i.i in the <>: ?:' -• [’before yon.'’ ' l f)ur hepo begins to understand th • - and is evidently much .discuncerfed. “YVaiter, wag my joins!'’ Alnid roars of laughter, and cm u his lips, our hero rushed .frohi.tlie.ro- ■