Rensselaer Democrat, Volume 1, Number 4, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 May 1898 — The Commic Side of The News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Commic Side of The News

A portion of the Spanish fleet has been definitely located. The Spaniards didn’t even knock dff that new coat of paint. Admiral Sampson has reported to the harbor master of Matanzas. So far no reports have reached us of an oversupply of volunteers in Spain. At last we know something of how the American modern battleship works. The shot fired halfway round th' world has been heard aCMadrid. Now is the time to follow Htunlet’s injunction: “Get thee to a gunnery.!’ When the cry came “To arms!’’ the patriotic girls were first to fall in. That man Don Carlos is ns fussy as a bully without a razor at a cake walk. Those Spanish gunners at Matanzas evidently couldn’t shoot the chutes well. Spain* probably will recognize the belligerency of somebody or other pretty soon. Spain evidently has been fooled by Col. Ingersoll’s theory that jßuicide isn’t a crime. From evidence appearing, Senor Polo refuses to consider bis mouth a closed incident. Europe is qiaking nt least one stern demand upon America—she wants more wheat. No matter how high the war tax is on whisky, the old topers will continue to “smile.” It must be admitted that many of the speeches in the Senate were sound and nothing else. \: A New York man has swapped his wife for a gun. Evidently a peace-at-any price man.